So here is where I am tonight... Bowden had surgery today. He had a salivary gland and a lymphnoid removed. There was a stone in the gland and it was getting infected. He had the spend the night. I did not get to stay. Only one person could stay. I am 8 months pregnant, Keith and the nurses thought it would be better for me to go home. I had to leave my baby there. Very sad about that.
I also got a call from our pediatrician scheduling her test for kidney reflux two weeks from now. My Itty Bitty has been struggling UTIs for a while now.
I am going to be giving birth in about 8 weeks. I am big and uncomfortable and my hormones are running high.
Spending any amount of time at Arkansas Children's hospital fills me with an enourmous amount of gratitude that the problems my children are so small. I am grateful to a God who provides for us in so many ways. We have loving family. We have INCREDIBLE friends who help with children, bring us chocolate shakes and pray without ceasing.
Why then was I just crying as I left the hospital tonight? I guess it goes back to those hormones.
This is where I am tonight. Resting in His grace. Trusting in His plan for our family. Grateful for all He provides for us!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Repost of "Naughty or Nice" post from last year....
Naughty or Nice
With that said though, there is a part of the Christmas celebration that has been weighing heavy on my heart & it is represented in the Elf on the Shelf. I had an elf on my shelf. As I looked at it each day, thoughts just kept pricking at me. Whether you are a follower of Jesus Christ or not, there is something about this elf that creates issues for parents that cannot be denied. It may seem like holiday fun but as he looked at me each day from a new location around my house, I realized he represented deeper issues.
As far as training children, the first and most important thing every parenting expert and layman alike talks about is consistency. If you want your children to obey than you must be consistent. If you say something, than you must follow through. Once the child realizes that mom and dad do not really mean what they say (or that they do not mean it until the third, or fourth, or fifth time...) than any hope for true obedience is lost.
So let's talk about this whole naughty or nice thing. Children hear nothing else from Thanksgiving on other than "be good or Santa will not bring you any presents". And now there is this little elf that sits around the house, ready to let Santa know about any naughtiness that may be going on, ready to make sure naughty little ones will get no gifts.
Really? I mean. REALLY? Have you ever denied your children Christmas presents because he/she was naughty? Sure, I have heard a tale or two of someone getting coal in their stalking. I have never heard of a child getting absolutely nothing due to naughty behavior. And let's be honest - all children are naughty in one way or another & even if we only count the time between Thanksgiving & Christmas, I feel fairly certain most, if not every child, would be gettin' nuthin' for Christmas!
And really, what does naughty mean? Children will take this vague term & run wild with it.
Does pushing brother down count as naughty.... nope. COOL!
Does stealing sister's toys count....nope. Even more cool!
How about speaking rudely to mommy?
Not doing my chores....
Acting out at school....
Little ones will try to get away with as much as we will let them and once they figure out that the naughty/nice thing is not really set in stone, it really offers little behavior control and simply teaches our children that mommy and daddy do not mean what they say. So if you are ready to tell you children exactly what you mean by "naughty" and then enforce it without fail, by all means put that elf on your shelf & enjoy it. I struggle enough on my own enforcing the hard realities of discipline. I certainly do not need to set myself up for the reality that one (or more) of my children will be naughty, forcing me to deny them the joy of Christmas morning in order to abide by the most important principle of parenting - consistency.
This leads me to the bigger issue of the naughty/nice debate if you are a follower of Jesus Christ. As I looked at that elf on my shelf, it dawned on me that everything the elf represents goes against everything this incredible celebration is about -
Romans 5:8 tells us "While we were still sinners, Christ dies for us..."
God did not sit in heaven and say "If you are nice, I will send my Son." If we were nice, we would not have needed His son. He sent the gift of His Son because HE LOVES US. Just like we give Christmas gifts to our children even when they have been naughty BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM.
Naughty & Nice has cluttered up this holiday. And there are a lot of Christian families who have gotten caught up in that clutter. God loves us. Experiencing His love ignites the fire of obedience. Sure, that elf on my shelf may inspire short term obedience from my children but that obedience will last only as long as the desire for the toy lasts. However, it certainly does not teach our children ANYTHING about God's love. As believers, that is what we should be teaching our children during Christmas. It is not about obedience. It is about LOVE.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16
As a parent, I have taken this incredible Gift and used the celebration of it to teach my children bad theology. God's Gift is not about how good we can be... God's Gift came because HE LOVES US, even while we are unlovable. And if I think that this little bit of holiday fun will not shape them and the way they think, I am just lying to myself.
How about I spend this Christmas season telling my children about the MIRACLE that God sent His Son even though no one deserved it?
How about I spend this Christmas season letting my children experience the true joy of anticipating the coming gifts without fear of not getting them because they just weren't good enough?
How about I spend the Christmas season disciplining my children just as I always do, instead of relying on an empty threat seemingly enforced by a little stuffed toy? A read through the Old Testament shows us that God disciplined the Israelites while they waited for the gift of the messiah. There were plenty of consequences for their bad actions, but God never said, "Sorry, you have been too naughty so I am not giving you the gift of the Savior right now." And He NEVER threatened to not send the Gift in order to get the Israelites to obey.
So, I have struggled through the realities of what this little elf has revealed to me. I mean, really, isn't it all in the name of holiday fun? Is it really THAT big of a deal? But then it hit me that YES, it IS that big of a deal. Beyond setting myself up to fail in the area of discipline because I will NEVER wake up Christmas morning & not give my little ones gifts, I am denying my children the opportunity to experience the TRUE JOY of Christmas - celebrating several weeks of anticipating the gifts that are guaranteed to come just because Keith & I love them, just like the Gift of Salvation that God guaranteed would come just because HE LOVES US.
Friday, December 3, 2010
ON THE THRID DAY OF CHRISTMAS
So we have had three days of Advent.... it has been good, it has been crazy. I have NOT tackeled any crazy crafts or projects yet.... I almost feel like I have to work up to those... if we start off with something too big and it goes badly, I will give up and forget this whole crazy idea.
Our Advent season has been something I have wanted to to since before I had children. I read, in one of my favorite books by Madeline L'Engle about a family that did something special each day through the Advent season building up to that very special day. I could not WAIT until I had children and could start doing it with them. That first year (when Bowden was just five months old) was a little disappointing. He was not so interested in making cookies! However, it was A LOT easier to get all sort of baking and decorating done than it is now with four little crazies running around!
As Bowden got older and we added more little ones, I have been able to really develop it into a season of true ADVENTure! He is six now and this will be our third year of doing something special (craft, decorating, baking, delivering treats or going somewhere special) each day through the month of December. I will say though, this year, being pregnant with number five, I AM finding it hard to sum up the energy! However, their anticipation and excitement at what each new day will hold inspires me to get it together!!!
Day 1 started with finding the WISE MEN. We have a beautiful Fontanini nativity set that Keith's mother gave us and our wise men spend the month traveling throughout the house. Each morning the little ones strive to be the first to find them so they can pull the Advent Calendar pocket for that day. then we were off to make paper chains. This was easy and super fun for our little ones!
Day 2 was putting up the "Children's Tree" in the playroom (big thanks to Daddy who did all the hard work). When we first moved into our house and celebrated our first Christmas, I was a little sad that we spent most of our time in the family room and the tree was in the living room. Last year, sweet Jennifer gave us her old fake tree so we could have one in the family room to enjoy. This is the tree we let the little ones put pretty much anything they want on. The make all sort of things for it. They COVERED it in silver, green and purple beads this year (thanks again to Jennifer). We have really enjoyed this new tradition!
This is our "winter scene", All fall, we had leaves that were changing & falling, pumpkins and even a few bats.... I thought I had a picture of it but could not find it. You can also see the Children's tree
Sorry the picture is sideways, I was having trouble downloading from Iphoto tonight.....
The chain can be seen in the edge of this photo
Making our snowmen
He does make such interesting faces..... (you can see in the background that the snow has not fallen on our tree yet....)
Day 3 we made cotton snow men. Not a hard craft but they certainly loved smothering their little men with lots of cotton! Then we hung them up on our landscape scene.
We also light an Advent candle each night and our family Bible time is doing an Advent reading and singing Christmas carols instead of regular hymns. I will try share some of those readings and verses when it is not 11:00 at night!
I do so love this time of year and I love the excitement my children bring with them, each day!
Our Advent season has been something I have wanted to to since before I had children. I read, in one of my favorite books by Madeline L'Engle about a family that did something special each day through the Advent season building up to that very special day. I could not WAIT until I had children and could start doing it with them. That first year (when Bowden was just five months old) was a little disappointing. He was not so interested in making cookies! However, it was A LOT easier to get all sort of baking and decorating done than it is now with four little crazies running around!
As Bowden got older and we added more little ones, I have been able to really develop it into a season of true ADVENTure! He is six now and this will be our third year of doing something special (craft, decorating, baking, delivering treats or going somewhere special) each day through the month of December. I will say though, this year, being pregnant with number five, I AM finding it hard to sum up the energy! However, their anticipation and excitement at what each new day will hold inspires me to get it together!!!
Day 1 started with finding the WISE MEN. We have a beautiful Fontanini nativity set that Keith's mother gave us and our wise men spend the month traveling throughout the house. Each morning the little ones strive to be the first to find them so they can pull the Advent Calendar pocket for that day. then we were off to make paper chains. This was easy and super fun for our little ones!
Day 2 was putting up the "Children's Tree" in the playroom (big thanks to Daddy who did all the hard work). When we first moved into our house and celebrated our first Christmas, I was a little sad that we spent most of our time in the family room and the tree was in the living room. Last year, sweet Jennifer gave us her old fake tree so we could have one in the family room to enjoy. This is the tree we let the little ones put pretty much anything they want on. The make all sort of things for it. They COVERED it in silver, green and purple beads this year (thanks again to Jennifer). We have really enjoyed this new tradition!
He does make such interesting faces..... (you can see in the background that the snow has not fallen on our tree yet....)
Day 3 we made cotton snow men. Not a hard craft but they certainly loved smothering their little men with lots of cotton! Then we hung them up on our landscape scene.
We also light an Advent candle each night and our family Bible time is doing an Advent reading and singing Christmas carols instead of regular hymns. I will try share some of those readings and verses when it is not 11:00 at night!
I do so love this time of year and I love the excitement my children bring with them, each day!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The First Day of Christmas
In the Jones house we never do anything small...so why would we only celebrate 12 days of Christmas? This is and always has been my favorite time of year. There are some hard emotions that have come with it since my father passed away on Christmas Day nine years ago this year but it does not change the fact that this Advent Season is all about the anitcipation of our Savior's birth so long ago and of His coming again one of these days...
So we will put away the traditional trappings of homeschooling and spend a month doing special things each day in preparation. I love the way my children get so excited with each new day... there excitement growing and growing! I will be posting pictures and tales of our ADVENTures over the next 25 days... until then, here are some pictures of past years!
So we will put away the traditional trappings of homeschooling and spend a month doing special things each day in preparation. I love the way my children get so excited with each new day... there excitement growing and growing! I will be posting pictures and tales of our ADVENTures over the next 25 days... until then, here are some pictures of past years!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Why do I Facebook?
I have been asking myself this question for A LONG time. At least a year. And please, let me preface this with a comment - this blog is ABOUT ME... my thoughts and my feelings and how they apply to ME. I am not making ANY broad statements about others. I am simply taking a look at my personality, weaknesses, strengths and tendencies and thinking how social media affects ME.
I remember a couple of years ago when someone asked me if I was on Facebook. I had NO IDEA what it was. Keith explained it to me, we looked at the site and I signed up for an account. There was some serious fun in those first days. I searched for friends long past. I was "friended" by people I had not heard from in DECADES. It was so neat to see what people I had known so long ago had been up to. I also played a bit of Oregon Trail (which I think is no longer available on the site). Keith did some silly race car game and we learned how to post pictures and enjoyed the excitement of instantly sharing photos of our little ones with friends and family.
And then there was the best part.... THE STATUS LINE. I mean really, there was nothing more enticing to THIS stay at home, homeschooling mom than the opportunity to share pithy comments about my day with other adults who would appreciate them so much more than my children ever did. Suddenly all those thoughts that rolled around in my head had a place to be heard. Suddenly I was getting instant feed-back; praise for my clever wit & my adorable children's antics along with support if something rough had fallen upon my path. I made a conscious effort to NOT use the venue to gripe or complain about things (although I am certainly not perfect!) and I enjoyed letting the world know what an awesome husband I had and how God had blessed our family. During this time our computer was in the family room, shut up in an cabinet. I did not have simple access to it during the day and let's be honest, that Dell just took FOREVER to load up and so just posting a quick status update was not an easy thing to do. But that desire to be heard had taken root and over the next two years it would grow beyond reason.
However, a few things began to change over the course of the next two years that have changed the excitement over from those first few months to a thing of stress and grief. First, I began to notice that MANY of the people who were friending me from high school were people that I did not even really know. One day I thought to myself "Why would these people want to be friends with me now?" It seemed like just picking out a random person on the street to friend. So I started to be more selective about who I clicked "accept" on. Then I started realizing that even many of the people who I did actually know were very different than I was. Please do not get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with being different than me - but I decided I did not really want to hear about so many people's lives in such detail. This is when I actually started "unfriending" people.
Unfriending was hard though. Harder than I ever thought it would be. In my heart I knew that these people were NOT people I would ever do anything with but even though I did not truly WANT to hear the details of their lives, there was something almost intoxicating about remaining in contact with them. I felt like something from my past had been found and even though on most every level I wanted to be free from them, there was this part of me that was afraid to let go. WHY? Why is that?
Things really hit a peak during the '08 presidential election and again during the "great healthcare debate". I am a debater by nature, top that with being passionate about what I believe and I suddenly found myself in heated debates with people who I did not know on statuses posted by common friends. Keith pointed out to me, on more than one occasion, that the reality of me winning someone to my side via a Facebook status debate was rather slim and he did not understand why I let myself get so riled up.
However, none of this compares to with this fall. These past couple of months on Facebook have brought very little excitement and quite a bit of despair. I have been on the receiving end of some very cruel comments and I have myself made a comment that caused a very important person in my life enormous heart ache. There have been a few other instances of friends being "attacked" verbally by others as well. And all this has caused me to stop and wonder - why DO I Facebook?
In the midst of the pain I caused this week, I was moments away from deleting my account all together but there was something that just would not let me. And I did not like what I was feeling. It is hard for me to put into words what it was, but it was not good. I liked feeling connected with others. That is not such a bad thing but are these connections real? Over the past few months I had seen these people turn on each other and me in just a blink of an eye. It is oh so much easier to say something cruel when you are not actually looking at the person. My heartless, cruel remark was just that, something that should have been said to my loved one and not on Facebook but it was easier to complain in cyberspace then it was to just talk to that person. And maybe, even though you clicked on the word "friend", just maybe that person was NOT really your friend after all?
I also realized that being able to share my thoughts in an instant gave me a sense of importance. Vanity really. Let's be honest, my thoughts had always been important and now Facebook (and the fact that we now had a fast starting Mac up and running in our kitchen) gave me a chance to let the world hear all the important, pithy things I had to say. I can remember the excitement as I would walk through the kitchen and tapped on the space bar to see if anyone had commented on my latest quip. Then I realized that as I had spent more time Facebooking, I had spent less time blogging. And I do love to blog. And the difference with blogging is that when I used to blog - it was about me and God. Blogging was about me spending time writing, trying to figure out what God had in store for me and sharing that with the two people who read my blog. There was never a deep desire to hear back on a blog because the blog was not about other making me feel good, it was about God revealing Himself to me. But as Facebook grew, blogging faded. The draw of the quick and easy was too much for the time spent seeking God through words, prayer and contemplation.
I have rethought my Facebook usage. It has not all been bad. There have been a few very important people in my past that I have found and that is wonderful. I have deepened some relationships with some who do not live close by and that has been a true blessing. I am able to easily let our far away family see photos of the goings on in Little Rock and that is great. But Facebook has changed for me. I will no longer allow it to be a social outlet. I will use the messaging system to get a hold of people. I will no longer seek worth from it. Worth can only come from one source and that is our Father above. I am not saying you will never see a status update from me again, however it will no longer be done in the attempt to fulfill the need for community. My life is so full already and it just seemed like all Facebook was doing was pulling me in a million different directions. My sphere had grown so big that the noise was deafening. I need some quiet now and I do believe there are many others who will be happy to not hear from me so often!
I remember a couple of years ago when someone asked me if I was on Facebook. I had NO IDEA what it was. Keith explained it to me, we looked at the site and I signed up for an account. There was some serious fun in those first days. I searched for friends long past. I was "friended" by people I had not heard from in DECADES. It was so neat to see what people I had known so long ago had been up to. I also played a bit of Oregon Trail (which I think is no longer available on the site). Keith did some silly race car game and we learned how to post pictures and enjoyed the excitement of instantly sharing photos of our little ones with friends and family.
And then there was the best part.... THE STATUS LINE. I mean really, there was nothing more enticing to THIS stay at home, homeschooling mom than the opportunity to share pithy comments about my day with other adults who would appreciate them so much more than my children ever did. Suddenly all those thoughts that rolled around in my head had a place to be heard. Suddenly I was getting instant feed-back; praise for my clever wit & my adorable children's antics along with support if something rough had fallen upon my path. I made a conscious effort to NOT use the venue to gripe or complain about things (although I am certainly not perfect!) and I enjoyed letting the world know what an awesome husband I had and how God had blessed our family. During this time our computer was in the family room, shut up in an cabinet. I did not have simple access to it during the day and let's be honest, that Dell just took FOREVER to load up and so just posting a quick status update was not an easy thing to do. But that desire to be heard had taken root and over the next two years it would grow beyond reason.
However, a few things began to change over the course of the next two years that have changed the excitement over from those first few months to a thing of stress and grief. First, I began to notice that MANY of the people who were friending me from high school were people that I did not even really know. One day I thought to myself "Why would these people want to be friends with me now?" It seemed like just picking out a random person on the street to friend. So I started to be more selective about who I clicked "accept" on. Then I started realizing that even many of the people who I did actually know were very different than I was. Please do not get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with being different than me - but I decided I did not really want to hear about so many people's lives in such detail. This is when I actually started "unfriending" people.
Unfriending was hard though. Harder than I ever thought it would be. In my heart I knew that these people were NOT people I would ever do anything with but even though I did not truly WANT to hear the details of their lives, there was something almost intoxicating about remaining in contact with them. I felt like something from my past had been found and even though on most every level I wanted to be free from them, there was this part of me that was afraid to let go. WHY? Why is that?
Things really hit a peak during the '08 presidential election and again during the "great healthcare debate". I am a debater by nature, top that with being passionate about what I believe and I suddenly found myself in heated debates with people who I did not know on statuses posted by common friends. Keith pointed out to me, on more than one occasion, that the reality of me winning someone to my side via a Facebook status debate was rather slim and he did not understand why I let myself get so riled up.
However, none of this compares to with this fall. These past couple of months on Facebook have brought very little excitement and quite a bit of despair. I have been on the receiving end of some very cruel comments and I have myself made a comment that caused a very important person in my life enormous heart ache. There have been a few other instances of friends being "attacked" verbally by others as well. And all this has caused me to stop and wonder - why DO I Facebook?
In the midst of the pain I caused this week, I was moments away from deleting my account all together but there was something that just would not let me. And I did not like what I was feeling. It is hard for me to put into words what it was, but it was not good. I liked feeling connected with others. That is not such a bad thing but are these connections real? Over the past few months I had seen these people turn on each other and me in just a blink of an eye. It is oh so much easier to say something cruel when you are not actually looking at the person. My heartless, cruel remark was just that, something that should have been said to my loved one and not on Facebook but it was easier to complain in cyberspace then it was to just talk to that person. And maybe, even though you clicked on the word "friend", just maybe that person was NOT really your friend after all?
I also realized that being able to share my thoughts in an instant gave me a sense of importance. Vanity really. Let's be honest, my thoughts had always been important and now Facebook (and the fact that we now had a fast starting Mac up and running in our kitchen) gave me a chance to let the world hear all the important, pithy things I had to say. I can remember the excitement as I would walk through the kitchen and tapped on the space bar to see if anyone had commented on my latest quip. Then I realized that as I had spent more time Facebooking, I had spent less time blogging. And I do love to blog. And the difference with blogging is that when I used to blog - it was about me and God. Blogging was about me spending time writing, trying to figure out what God had in store for me and sharing that with the two people who read my blog. There was never a deep desire to hear back on a blog because the blog was not about other making me feel good, it was about God revealing Himself to me. But as Facebook grew, blogging faded. The draw of the quick and easy was too much for the time spent seeking God through words, prayer and contemplation.
I have rethought my Facebook usage. It has not all been bad. There have been a few very important people in my past that I have found and that is wonderful. I have deepened some relationships with some who do not live close by and that has been a true blessing. I am able to easily let our far away family see photos of the goings on in Little Rock and that is great. But Facebook has changed for me. I will no longer allow it to be a social outlet. I will use the messaging system to get a hold of people. I will no longer seek worth from it. Worth can only come from one source and that is our Father above. I am not saying you will never see a status update from me again, however it will no longer be done in the attempt to fulfill the need for community. My life is so full already and it just seemed like all Facebook was doing was pulling me in a million different directions. My sphere had grown so big that the noise was deafening. I need some quiet now and I do believe there are many others who will be happy to not hear from me so often!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
A love letter to my husband
My Dearest Handsome Man,
Eight years ago today the weather was A LOT like it is today... cold and rainy. But that cold rain is one of the things that made our wedding day so special. Weird, I know. But I love the fact that despite what the weather was like outside, the overwhelming joy of marrying you was shinning brighter than the sun in my heart!
Perhaps my favorite memory of that day was when I was asked how it was possible that I could be so calm on my wedding day and upon reflection I answer that it was because God had made it so clear to me that this was His plan for my life that there was no need to be nervous! And I can honestly say that marrying you was God's plan for my life. And that plan has been AWESOME!!!!
You are my BEST friend, Keith. I know it is not cool to say that. I know I am "supposed" to prefer to spend time with my children and girlfriends but that is just not the truth! I do not just love you, I LIKE you. I like to hang out and watch football with you. I like to talk politics with you. I like the fact that just hanging out with you and doing not much of anything is better than do a whole bunch of something with other people!
Please do not get me wrong, you can certainly irritate me at times & I am I certain that I can get under your skin every once and a while. But you and I did not go into this marriage with rose colored glasses. We knew it would be hard work and I want to THANK YOU for your commitment to working hard. I want to thank you for being emotionally available to me. I want to thank you for allowing me to experience emotional swings and not holding it against me or just dismissing them as hormones. I want to thank you for always guarding your heart against passivity and being cliche`. I actually LOVE when we hear things about "how all men act" and thinking "Keith NEVER acts that way"....
Eight years... I cannot believe it. Eight years... four (and a half) children..... I cannot believe THAT! I can HONESTLY say I did NOT expect the be expecting our fifth child on this day eight years ago. But I am so happy that we have gone on this journey together. And perhaps my greatest memory of childbirth will always be you saying (not a minute after Kailyn was born) "WE HAVE GOT TO DO THIS AGAIN!" You are an INCREDIBLE father and that is a gift beyond words to me as a wife and mother. We talk about love languages periodically and I can easily say that each time I see you being a loving, Godly, attentive father to our children (which is ALL THE TIME) my love tank overflows!
Your commitment to do the right thing & your integrity are so clearly based in seeking God and doing His will that it is easy to follow your lead. I KNOW that I am not always the easiest woman to live with. I am a hard-headed woman! I have made mistakes financially that we are still paying for but you have taken all that in stride. You truly understand the concept of forgiveness and practice it in your life daily. Thank you for loving me, flaws and all!
I cannot say that you complete me, but you ALWAYS point me to the one who will complete me... Thank you for eight years of servant leadership. Thank you for eight years of fun and passion. Thank you for eight years of giving me your best every single day!
I love you more today than I did back then!
Your wife in Christ,
Shasta
Eight years ago today the weather was A LOT like it is today... cold and rainy. But that cold rain is one of the things that made our wedding day so special. Weird, I know. But I love the fact that despite what the weather was like outside, the overwhelming joy of marrying you was shinning brighter than the sun in my heart!
Perhaps my favorite memory of that day was when I was asked how it was possible that I could be so calm on my wedding day and upon reflection I answer that it was because God had made it so clear to me that this was His plan for my life that there was no need to be nervous! And I can honestly say that marrying you was God's plan for my life. And that plan has been AWESOME!!!!
You are my BEST friend, Keith. I know it is not cool to say that. I know I am "supposed" to prefer to spend time with my children and girlfriends but that is just not the truth! I do not just love you, I LIKE you. I like to hang out and watch football with you. I like to talk politics with you. I like the fact that just hanging out with you and doing not much of anything is better than do a whole bunch of something with other people!
Please do not get me wrong, you can certainly irritate me at times & I am I certain that I can get under your skin every once and a while. But you and I did not go into this marriage with rose colored glasses. We knew it would be hard work and I want to THANK YOU for your commitment to working hard. I want to thank you for being emotionally available to me. I want to thank you for allowing me to experience emotional swings and not holding it against me or just dismissing them as hormones. I want to thank you for always guarding your heart against passivity and being cliche`. I actually LOVE when we hear things about "how all men act" and thinking "Keith NEVER acts that way"....
Eight years... I cannot believe it. Eight years... four (and a half) children..... I cannot believe THAT! I can HONESTLY say I did NOT expect the be expecting our fifth child on this day eight years ago. But I am so happy that we have gone on this journey together. And perhaps my greatest memory of childbirth will always be you saying (not a minute after Kailyn was born) "WE HAVE GOT TO DO THIS AGAIN!" You are an INCREDIBLE father and that is a gift beyond words to me as a wife and mother. We talk about love languages periodically and I can easily say that each time I see you being a loving, Godly, attentive father to our children (which is ALL THE TIME) my love tank overflows!
Your commitment to do the right thing & your integrity are so clearly based in seeking God and doing His will that it is easy to follow your lead. I KNOW that I am not always the easiest woman to live with. I am a hard-headed woman! I have made mistakes financially that we are still paying for but you have taken all that in stride. You truly understand the concept of forgiveness and practice it in your life daily. Thank you for loving me, flaws and all!
I cannot say that you complete me, but you ALWAYS point me to the one who will complete me... Thank you for eight years of servant leadership. Thank you for eight years of fun and passion. Thank you for eight years of giving me your best every single day!
I love you more today than I did back then!
Your wife in Christ,
Shasta
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The ENTIRE talk... way too long for a blog!
here is the entire talk... it is a lot long for a blog but I was supposed to speak for about 15 minutes.... It is also written to be spoken, so PLEASE (if you do struggle through reading it) do not attack my grammar... These are a mix between notes and a script....
Thank you. It really is a honor to get to come and talk here today.
I remember just six years ago, I was starting Moms and More. My first child was just a month and half old and just getting here was a project.
My world had changed in a way beyond anything I could have imagined.
I went from pretty much doing what I wanted most of the day – even while I was working, I got breaks and lunch and when the work day was over, my time was my own to being on beck and call 24 hours a day.
Suddenly, I was at home all the time with a little creature whom I loved more than anything but really was not all that interested in anything I had to offer except …well, my breast when it was time to eat. There was no more fun interactions with coworkers. Lunch time shopping trips were a thing of the past and getting together with friends in the evenings suddenly involved finding babysitters and a special budget just to pay for her! Frankly, I was a little bored!
Now, six years later, I am expecting my fifth child and I have to laugh at the thought of being bored!
So much has changed over the past six years that I could not share all of it with you if they let me talk to all morning. Each child has revealed new insights about God and new weaknesses in myself. But it was not until the birth of my fourth child – I have a VERY slow learning curve - that I really even began to get a handle on what it was exactly that God is calling me to… what He is calling all of us blessed to be mothers to be… Keepers of the Home.
When I first started hearing this phrase, I really did not have any clue what it meant. I mean it sounds wonderful… Keeper of the Home… but what does it mean? And how do I even DO that?
Let’s be honest, I barely manage to get my children’s hair brushed in the mornings, let alone “Keep my home” in some Godly way.
But I looked at other mothers, whom I respected, I watched their lives, I spoke with them, I read the Bible searching for what God calls mothers to be. I talked with my husband about his vision for our home. I prayed, a lot. I am still praying.
Our homes should be a
safe haven,
a place of refuge for our family.
I often say, I want Jesus to drip from our home.
I want our children to see Jesus in everything we do as a family.
And what I realized is that in order for that to happen in our home, I need to have a plan. I need to have a level of organization that makes it easier to function in the midst of chaos – and believe me having four children in four and a half years leads a certain amount of chaos!
So today, I wanted to share with you some practical tips for you to start thinking about becoming a keeper of your own home.
First and foremost, you HAVE to spend time with Jesus every day (preferably first thing in the morning).
Do not believe satan's lie that it has to be an hour, just a short devotional to get your mind on the right things is enough at this phase of life. This has been a big struggle for me. Let’s be honest, it is HARD to get up earlier than your little ones to read the Bible and pray! But answer me a question…. How many of you have a smart phone? You know, the ones you read your email on or check your facebook account with? You go to bed with it on your night table and check your email first thing when you get up? Perfect!
Subscribe to Fellowship Journal. Every morning you will get an email that contains a passage from the Bible and one of the pastor’s comments on that passage. It is the perfect early morning devotional!
Even if you are not interested in FJ, the most important thing you can do with your day is spend the first few minutes giving it to Christ! Find a devotional, leave it by your bed and read it before you get out of bed.
Our bookstore has a lot of good ones (I just checked yesterday) including my very favorite for first time moms Baby Boot Camp. It truly was a gift from God right after my son was born. I have started giving it to first time moms when I visit them in the hospital.
Another idea is to just put your Bible on the counter, open to a particular verse and every time you walk past it, stop to read it. I did that for a long time and it worked very well, until my three year old reached up, pulled it down and ripped out a few of the front pages… Make sure you keep it out of reach of destructive toddlers!
I cannot stress this enough. Get into the word, get on your knees and ask God to be your strength throughout the day. Your day may still be complete chaos but He is faithful and He will give you the strength and patience to get through it in a way that glorifies Him!
The next most important thing you can do is
Put your husband first – BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN! I know, this is really hard for some of you but it is how God designed it. He brought man and woman together and THEN the children came!
Find out what is important to him in the area of home keeping (tidy house, dessert after dinner, shirts ironed, etc.) and really focus on meeting those one or two desires daily.
Different things matter to different men, some men want the house neat when they get home, others would rather have dessert every night. TALK TO HIM, find out what matters to him. And if he is not a talker, become a student of your husband, learn what makes him happy and DO THOSE THINGS.
Be excited to see him every time he comes in regardless of the chaos ensuing seconds before he walked in. This takes MUCH prayer!!!
Do not just get dressed up on Bible study/church days or for GNOs. Make yourself look nice for him.
Make coming home a thing of joy for your husband so that he clearly sees that he comes first in your life and that you care for him more than your children.
Your husband is your partner, God designed you to do this entire thing WITH him. It is so easy, in the midst of this crazy season to just take this gift from God for granted – and trust me, satan wants to use this season to destroy what God has brought together and if we are not careful he will do it. Discover a few important things to your husband and work very hard to do those well. You will not be disappointed.
Develop a system for keeping the house decent/clean.
I am not blessed to have a cleaning lady. If you are, do not tell me or you will cause me to sin as I will have serious envy of you!.
If you are like me and struggling with how to keep your house clean now that there are little ones demanding time and making messes, you need to develop a system for getting things done around the house.
One of the BIGGEST mistakes I made as a first time mom was only cleaning during naptime. I know, some of you are saying “Huh? When are we supposed to get things done?”
Do things while your little ones are awake when you can.
This will teach you how to get things done with them around
Your little ones will learn to be more independent and play on their own here and there
Beyond this, as they get older and stop napping, you and your child will have learned to do things around the house – and you will not be like me, struggling to get things done now that you have a couple of non-nappers in the house!
Develop a cleaning schedule.
I have a friend who just rotated things weekly. One week was dusting & cleaning the floors. One week was cleaning the bathroom & kitchen.
I have been using a monthly schedule. I wrote down everything that needs to be done on a weekly, biweekly & monthly basis on a spread sheet. I print it out each month & keep it on the fridge. I check off things as I get them done through the week. Over the course of the month I can see easily what things have gotten done and what has gotten ignored. And there is nothing more satisfying than seeing a whole bunch of check marks.
And finally, in the area of cleaning – lower your standards. Your house may not be as clean as it used to be. I am a very neat and tidy person and motherhood has been an attack on my senses in this area! I still struggle with this a lot. But again, I talked to my husband, we decided what the most important areas are and we focus our energies on these things.
However you do it, to be a keeper of your home – you need to have a plan as to how you are going to keep it livable and a refuge for your family.
Develop a menu each week.
This will keep you from making extra trips to the store with children it tow
(I came back from vacation one time and just could not get back into the swing and made 5 trips to the store in 5 days to get that one thing I needed for dinner, this was with three children and pregnant with the fourth. My BF performed and intervention and forced me to make a menu and grocery list the next week)
It also honors your husband because it helps you to stay within a budget and shows him you recognize the hard work he puts into earning money for the family!
I have done cooking for 30 days with a couple of friends. I hate it the week we cook and love it for the weeks afterwards when all I have to do is pull something out of the freezer to make dinner.
I know people who are part of cooking co-ops that share nightly cooking duties.
I have also had specific nights for food – Tuesday Tacos, Pizza Family Fridays, it makes it easier for you have a couple of days that are always the same.
However you do it, plan out your meals and go to the store with a list. Your house will run much more smoothly and it will take A LOT of stress off of you which will in turn make your home a refuge for your family!
Finally -
Start teaching your children the word and truths of God from the very beginning.
Teach your children what you believe and why and then Live the things you teach… you would be shocked at how early little ones can learn scriptures. My husband leads our family in Bible time 5 -6 times a week and even our 18 month old sits in for it. She may not be able to say the verses yet, but I can assure you just as she knows the candy corn is on top of the fridge, she is learning what mommy and daddy believe and why!
So much of this seems so simple and unimportant.
Spend time in the word every day
Put your husband first in your family
Develop a system to keep your house clean and comfortable
Make menu plans
And – teach your children what you believe and why
It seems lost in the scheme of the “real world” but the reality is what we do each day with our little ones is of vital importance to our world and God’s Kingdom. When we keep our home as God as called us to… a refuge, a safe haven, a place where Jesus invades every corner, we a training our children to be kingdom builders for Christ.
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