So we have given up our TV for the month of August. The entire month. No TV. No movies. No news. No sports.
This is not just for our little ones. Keith and I are taking a break as well. There will be no sneaking and watching something after the little ones head off to bed.
31 days without the big, blaring box filling the house with noise. It is only 31 days.
So why, you ask? Why are we giving it up? We are giving it up because of the feeling I get when I read the sentence above. 31 days without TV. When I decided we should do this (2 weeks ago), it seemed noble and parental. Now, I feel like I am going to be missing out on something. I feel like I do not know what I will do with myself or my children. I am anxious and sad.
Seriously, anxious and SAD about not watching TV? THAT IS A PROBLEM.
Here is the irony in this whole thing, we do NOT watch that much TV. My children average about 30 minutes a day - meaning there are days when they watch two hours of TV and then there are days when they watch none. But they ask for it ALL THE TIME. It is the first question my son asks EVERY morning when he gets up and Saturday is the ONLY morning we do watch TV (on other days it is usually when I feed baby at 10:00am - not first thing). When we do sit down to watch a cartoon, several of them actually cry when it is over and I do not turn on another one (even though we RARELY watch two and it is ALWAYS explained that there will only be ONE). THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I watch a cooking show or something on TLC in the late afternoon on SOME days. Keith and I do watch TV in the evenings when our little ones go to bed. But there are no shows we MUST watch. Let's be honest, most of it is crap.
So why so anxious? I realized that TV is a drug on our house. It is a recreational drug that we use to kill time, to control moods, to relieve stress, to ease boredom. It is just as addictive as crack or LSD. We want it when we can't have it and when we get it some is never enough.
As I have mentioned previously in this blog, my last pregnancy was a trying one. I was VERY sick for a long time and I got lazy. TV was an easy way to deal with crazy children and to zone out myself when I had a free moment. I am MUCH better now, but habits are hard to break. Instead of picking up a book, I reach for the remote. And books are SO MUCH better than an old episode of House Hunters or Friends.
So I decided we need a break. Some might ask, why not just get rid of it? And I have one word, football. Keith and I love love love football, especially college football. So, when it dawned on me that the TV was really needing to be curbed (not so much in amount as I said above, it is not HUGE amounts of time, but in desire) and that Football season was right around the corner, I decided August was the month to take the plunge.
Today has been fine. They have only asked for it one time (B, first thing this morning). I am wondering how it will all turn out. I am sure we will do just fine this month. But I wonder, like any addict, will we be able to turn the TV back on and handle it? I have some ideas about that but will spend these TV free days praying about it, seeking wisdom as to how to handle our desire for it.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Falling in Love
Do you remember when you fell in love? I do. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember wanting to spend hours and hours with my love. I remember that burning NEED to be with my love. I remember how I would do whatever my love wanted. I remember wanting to spend hours and hours reading the words of love written by my love.
Do you remember when it happened to you?
I was in church on Sunday when that feeling hit me all over again. That need to just BE WITH my love.
We all need that. We all need to feel that love every day. We need to know that it is not a feeling that has to wane or subside over the course of time.
Am I talking about my husband right now? Yes and no. I do remember all those feelings about Keith. I still feel them much of the time. He is the one person on earth that I desire with all my heart. I am PASSIONATE about him.
But in church on Sunday, it was God I was thinking about. I was thinking about when I fell in love with Him. When I started to understand the depths of His love for me and my heart began to open up to Him. I was thinking about the passion I had for getting into His word, for talking with Him, for talking about Him. I was ON FIRE for Him.
Do not get me wrong, I still love God with all my heart and soul. But just as many people fall into routine ho-hum in human romance, I have fallen into a ho-hum with my divine romance.
God's passion for me has not changed, I have just started taking Him for granted. I know that He will be there so I run through my crazy days just depending on that.
I am so grateful for that little prick on Sunday. I want my passion for God to be a FIRE IN MY SOUL! I want Him to know I do not just take for granted all that has been given through His Son!
Do you remember when it happened to you?
I was in church on Sunday when that feeling hit me all over again. That need to just BE WITH my love.
We all need that. We all need to feel that love every day. We need to know that it is not a feeling that has to wane or subside over the course of time.
Am I talking about my husband right now? Yes and no. I do remember all those feelings about Keith. I still feel them much of the time. He is the one person on earth that I desire with all my heart. I am PASSIONATE about him.
But in church on Sunday, it was God I was thinking about. I was thinking about when I fell in love with Him. When I started to understand the depths of His love for me and my heart began to open up to Him. I was thinking about the passion I had for getting into His word, for talking with Him, for talking about Him. I was ON FIRE for Him.
Do not get me wrong, I still love God with all my heart and soul. But just as many people fall into routine ho-hum in human romance, I have fallen into a ho-hum with my divine romance.
God's passion for me has not changed, I have just started taking Him for granted. I know that He will be there so I run through my crazy days just depending on that.
I am so grateful for that little prick on Sunday. I want my passion for God to be a FIRE IN MY SOUL! I want Him to know I do not just take for granted all that has been given through His Son!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Agendas
I became a mother 7 years ago this month. It seems like an eternity ago, it seems like yesterday. Time is weird like that.
My struggle over the last seven years has been the same - the battle over who's agenda I will follow. It started before my baby boy was born when I read Babywise (which I STILL strongly recommend). The book fed my need for control.
"If I do everything RIGHT the baby will do what I want it to..."
Sweet thought but it does not take into account that freewill God granted each of us back on the sixth day.
I will say, as I have started parenting my fifth child, I am much less crazed about her schedule and whether or not she eats every three hours, sleeps through the night or gets to nap at 1pm. I have become more relaxed with each child in the area of baby things.
However, my poor, sweet son seems to deal with the brunt of my learning curve. My hard headed desire to follow my own agenda as opposed to God's.
He is the first, which means he is the trailblazer. The one that mommy learns on. And mommy is a slow learner.
Each day, I have to remind myself that my agenda needs to be based in what God has called me to. Not what I want to do. Now, God has called me to be a keeper of my home. That means there are some things that HAVE to get done.
We have to eat.
We do have to keep things relatively neat (contrary to some advice that I have gotten about just letting everything go around the house so I can play with my children all day, I do believe that in order to function smoothly a house with seven people in it has to be kept some what neat and clean).
We have to do school (God has called us to homeschool and I cannot just ignore what that means).
However, every day I struggle with seeking God first or just doing what I want. I struggle with what the world is calling me to and what God is calling me to. Because all those things listed above need to come amidst following God's agenda -
And God's agenda is to teach my children about God's love for us & how to love God. Regardless of what ANYONE says, every parent teaches their children about God (even atheists) but that is a WHOLE other blog! My job is to seek God first every day, allow the Holy Spirit to shine through me and reflect God to my children.
So while I am "keeping my home" I need to be teaching my children of God's love.
While I am feeding my family I need to be teaching my children of God's love.
And what is the point if homeschooling if first and foremost I am not teaching them of God's love?
But some how, every day, I look away. I let their frustrating behavior get under my skin and the reflection I give of God is twisted and distorted.
I need to see EVERY opportunity as a chance to reflect God's love and teach of God's love. I need to stop focusing on my agenda of "getting out the door"...
"cleaning up the playroom"...
"getting them into bed"...
...as the end goal. The end goal should be that each encounter with my children heightens their desire to get to know God on their own. Each encounter should draw my children to a place of desiring God because they see the attributes of God as desirable.
So while cleaning the playroom, making dinner or getting them to bed with clean teeth are an important parts of keeping my home (something God has called me to) it all means nothing if I cannot accomplish these things in a way that follows God's agenda.
Seven years of motherhood and I am STILL struggling with this! Man, I have a slow learning curve!
My struggle over the last seven years has been the same - the battle over who's agenda I will follow. It started before my baby boy was born when I read Babywise (which I STILL strongly recommend). The book fed my need for control.
"If I do everything RIGHT the baby will do what I want it to..."
Sweet thought but it does not take into account that freewill God granted each of us back on the sixth day.
I will say, as I have started parenting my fifth child, I am much less crazed about her schedule and whether or not she eats every three hours, sleeps through the night or gets to nap at 1pm. I have become more relaxed with each child in the area of baby things.
However, my poor, sweet son seems to deal with the brunt of my learning curve. My hard headed desire to follow my own agenda as opposed to God's.
He is the first, which means he is the trailblazer. The one that mommy learns on. And mommy is a slow learner.
Each day, I have to remind myself that my agenda needs to be based in what God has called me to. Not what I want to do. Now, God has called me to be a keeper of my home. That means there are some things that HAVE to get done.
We have to eat.
We do have to keep things relatively neat (contrary to some advice that I have gotten about just letting everything go around the house so I can play with my children all day, I do believe that in order to function smoothly a house with seven people in it has to be kept some what neat and clean).
We have to do school (God has called us to homeschool and I cannot just ignore what that means).
However, every day I struggle with seeking God first or just doing what I want. I struggle with what the world is calling me to and what God is calling me to. Because all those things listed above need to come amidst following God's agenda -
And God's agenda is to teach my children about God's love for us & how to love God. Regardless of what ANYONE says, every parent teaches their children about God (even atheists) but that is a WHOLE other blog! My job is to seek God first every day, allow the Holy Spirit to shine through me and reflect God to my children.
So while I am "keeping my home" I need to be teaching my children of God's love.
While I am feeding my family I need to be teaching my children of God's love.
And what is the point if homeschooling if first and foremost I am not teaching them of God's love?
But some how, every day, I look away. I let their frustrating behavior get under my skin and the reflection I give of God is twisted and distorted.
I need to see EVERY opportunity as a chance to reflect God's love and teach of God's love. I need to stop focusing on my agenda of "getting out the door"...
"cleaning up the playroom"...
"getting them into bed"...
...as the end goal. The end goal should be that each encounter with my children heightens their desire to get to know God on their own. Each encounter should draw my children to a place of desiring God because they see the attributes of God as desirable.
So while cleaning the playroom, making dinner or getting them to bed with clean teeth are an important parts of keeping my home (something God has called me to) it all means nothing if I cannot accomplish these things in a way that follows God's agenda.
Seven years of motherhood and I am STILL struggling with this! Man, I have a slow learning curve!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I am in the midst of my 21 days of prayer for my son and it has been going really well. Have I seen a HUGE change in Bowden? NO! He is a six year old boy and he acts just like a six year old boy. However, I have seen a huge change in myself. I had been floundering a bit in my walk for a while now. By floundering I do NOT mean my faith was shaken. I had just gotten caught up in the every day craziness of my life and was not spending much time close with our Lord. He wants that. We NEED that. I would throw up prayers here and there, I would read the Bible each day but I was not spending any time at the the feet of our Savior. He wants that. We NEED that.
I have found much more joy in each day. I carve out some time every afternoon to read through the devotional, pray through the Scriptures and then underline each of the verses in a Bible that I will someday give to Bowden. When I pray, I am down on my knees. I have found that there are two ways that I pray well, journaling and on my knees. Right now I am really feeling called to pray on my knees.
I love that each afternoon I tell my children "Mommy is going to do Bible time". I am hoping it is a tangible example of what God has called us to.
My life is good. My life is crazy. My heart overflows with desire for my children to walk a worthy life with our Lord. Praying the Scriptures each day for that to happen has given me a peace about this. Suddenly I feel the urge to pray ALL THE TIME. I am once again noticing that call to stop the midst of something to pray for someone. Prayer begets prayer, I think. My focus is no longer on myself and what I want. It is focused on seeking God's will (and specifically for my son).
I am excited for this to continue. I have GREAT plans. When I am done praying for Bowden, I will get another Bible and pray for Evynn. When I am done with Evynn, I will do the same for Kailyn, then Ryen, then Macyn and so on. After I have gone through one time, I will start over again. The thought of presenting each of them the Word of God that I prayed from throughout their childhood when they are launched into adulthood fills me with excitement.
There is NOTHING AS POWERFUL as prayer. God has called me to my knees and that is where I want to stay!
I have found much more joy in each day. I carve out some time every afternoon to read through the devotional, pray through the Scriptures and then underline each of the verses in a Bible that I will someday give to Bowden. When I pray, I am down on my knees. I have found that there are two ways that I pray well, journaling and on my knees. Right now I am really feeling called to pray on my knees.
I love that each afternoon I tell my children "Mommy is going to do Bible time". I am hoping it is a tangible example of what God has called us to.
My life is good. My life is crazy. My heart overflows with desire for my children to walk a worthy life with our Lord. Praying the Scriptures each day for that to happen has given me a peace about this. Suddenly I feel the urge to pray ALL THE TIME. I am once again noticing that call to stop the midst of something to pray for someone. Prayer begets prayer, I think. My focus is no longer on myself and what I want. It is focused on seeking God's will (and specifically for my son).
I am excited for this to continue. I have GREAT plans. When I am done praying for Bowden, I will get another Bible and pray for Evynn. When I am done with Evynn, I will do the same for Kailyn, then Ryen, then Macyn and so on. After I have gone through one time, I will start over again. The thought of presenting each of them the Word of God that I prayed from throughout their childhood when they are launched into adulthood fills me with excitement.
There is NOTHING AS POWERFUL as prayer. God has called me to my knees and that is where I want to stay!
Friday, June 10, 2011
21 Days of prayer for my boy
I love how God works. LOVE. IT.
Just Wednesday I posted that I was having trouble getting in the word AND I wanted to find a way to get my son in the word as well.
This morning, after having ANOTHER frustrating run in with my son, I was thinking about HOW BADLY I wanted this boy. I prayed and prayed for a boy and God answered that prayer. He is exactly what I wanted and yet I find myself at wit's end with him all the time. I love this boy more than I love my own life (I love my girls this way too but that is for another post, when they are all teenagers driving me batty!). I have felt this burden on my heart for him lately. I do KNOW IN MY HEART that God put this tender-hearted boy in a family full of sisters for a reason. I do know that God wants to use this boy for amazing things. And yet I worry about him being surrounded by us women all day long.
So today I had a free moment to check some of the blogs I follow and found a link to this site;
http://www.brookemcglothlin.com/warriorprayers/
There is an ebook and group of mothers that are committed to praying for their sons over 21 days. The group started on Wednesday (I missed the first two days but can easily catch up).
I am SO excited how God provided this answer. I need to pray. I need to draw closer to my son's heavenly Father. I am so excited about this and I would encourage anyone of the three people who read this who have sons (or know someone who does) to join me. I will be commenting on the process through my blog.
Our sons are under attack in this culture. Men of integrity are no longer valued. We need to lift our boys up in prayer to the one and only who can lead them to live lives of irresistible influence for the kingdom of Christ!
Just Wednesday I posted that I was having trouble getting in the word AND I wanted to find a way to get my son in the word as well.
This morning, after having ANOTHER frustrating run in with my son, I was thinking about HOW BADLY I wanted this boy. I prayed and prayed for a boy and God answered that prayer. He is exactly what I wanted and yet I find myself at wit's end with him all the time. I love this boy more than I love my own life (I love my girls this way too but that is for another post, when they are all teenagers driving me batty!). I have felt this burden on my heart for him lately. I do KNOW IN MY HEART that God put this tender-hearted boy in a family full of sisters for a reason. I do know that God wants to use this boy for amazing things. And yet I worry about him being surrounded by us women all day long.
So today I had a free moment to check some of the blogs I follow and found a link to this site;
http://www.brookemcglothlin.com/warriorprayers/
There is an ebook and group of mothers that are committed to praying for their sons over 21 days. The group started on Wednesday (I missed the first two days but can easily catch up).
I am SO excited how God provided this answer. I need to pray. I need to draw closer to my son's heavenly Father. I am so excited about this and I would encourage anyone of the three people who read this who have sons (or know someone who does) to join me. I will be commenting on the process through my blog.
Our sons are under attack in this culture. Men of integrity are no longer valued. We need to lift our boys up in prayer to the one and only who can lead them to live lives of irresistible influence for the kingdom of Christ!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Time in the Word
I have been struggling with this for myself AND my children. we do a nighty Bible time 4 - 5 nights a week. However, i would like to start Bowden on a daily quiet time now that he is getting a little more proficient in his reading. The problem is I do not know how to go about this. Any ideas?
Other than that... Just enjoying life with five little ones.... here are some pics!
Sweet, sweet Evynn
Ryen and Isaiah watching a movie (they turned on the TV themselves)
Baby Macyn sleeping at the park
Ryen LOVES to swing
She is ALL smiles
Bowden graduated from a tiger cub to a wolf cub
Evynn helped make cupcakes for K's birthday
Best friends
Kailyn turned four!
The Donleys came by to say happy birthday
Ryen LOVES her big brother
The Crazies!!!
Macyn
Other than that... Just enjoying life with five little ones.... here are some pics!
Sweet, sweet Evynn
Ryen and Isaiah watching a movie (they turned on the TV themselves)
Baby Macyn sleeping at the park
Ryen LOVES to swing
She is ALL smiles
Bowden graduated from a tiger cub to a wolf cub
Evynn helped make cupcakes for K's birthday
Best friends
Ryen LOVES her big brother
The Crazies!!!
Macyn
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The Book of James, chapter 1 starts off -
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
I am supposed to be working on producing a lesson from this section of scpriture (actually all the way through verse 18). I have had this assignment since February. Thank goodness I am not actually teaching it any time soon or I would be in a bit of a pickle. It is a great passage and so much of it can be directly applied to my life over the past year. But I just cannot seem to get started on it.
Tonight, however, I wanted to really think about verses 6 - 8. Verse 5 tells us that if we are lacking wisdom, to ask God and it will be given. But then in verse 6 we are told that when we ask, we MUST believe and not doubt. We are told that a person who has doubt should not expect to receive anything from God.
This strikes so close to home with me. So often I find myself asking for wisdom from God and even as I pray it, I can feel that lack of belief in me. I NEVER doubt God's ability to do anything. I fully believe that God is indeed all-powerful. However, many times I do not think I want the wisdom He will provide. I am like a petulant child. I want the answer I want - not the answer that needs to be given.
And I have spent an enormous amount of my life like a wave at sea being tossed about by the wind.
So where does this lack of belief come from? I could say it comes from a lack of trust in God but as I sit here, I realize that it goes deeper than that. What it really is, deep down, is pride. Arrogant, pride. Just like Eve thought she knew better when she ate that fruit, so do I think I know better. When I pray, seeking wisdom from God, I know He is able to provide it. I also know His wisdom may lead me down the path I did not want to go. This is where my ugly pride jumps in. Why doesn't God see that I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR ME? My arrogance in believing that I know what is best, leads to a lack of trust in God and there I am - seeking God with a disbelieving heart. A wave tossed about in the ocean.
There have been some challenging times over the past year. I have struggled in my walk with the Lord. Not because I have ever doubted who He is but because I have been like my precious two year old daughter Ryen. I fully understand who is in charge and who has the most power - I just did not like it. I wanted to go my own way. When I did seek God, it was with an arrogant heart. I was not looking for God to provide me with His best. I was asking Him to give me what I wanted, so short sighted, never realizing that my "wants" were so much smaller than God's desires for my life.
When we seek wisdom from God, we need to understand that He truly has our best interest at heart. The path he guides us down may be difficult. It may be the road less taken but it is our road, designed for us before we were born by the creator of all things.
Humm... this is a start. This is all very disjointed right now so all two people who read this - just have patience with me. I have a lot more thoughts that deal with seeking wisdom, enduring trials with perseverance and considering them to be a joy... I will work on those another time. Now I am going to exercise for the first time since baby Macyn was born!
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
I am supposed to be working on producing a lesson from this section of scpriture (actually all the way through verse 18). I have had this assignment since February. Thank goodness I am not actually teaching it any time soon or I would be in a bit of a pickle. It is a great passage and so much of it can be directly applied to my life over the past year. But I just cannot seem to get started on it.
Tonight, however, I wanted to really think about verses 6 - 8. Verse 5 tells us that if we are lacking wisdom, to ask God and it will be given. But then in verse 6 we are told that when we ask, we MUST believe and not doubt. We are told that a person who has doubt should not expect to receive anything from God.
This strikes so close to home with me. So often I find myself asking for wisdom from God and even as I pray it, I can feel that lack of belief in me. I NEVER doubt God's ability to do anything. I fully believe that God is indeed all-powerful. However, many times I do not think I want the wisdom He will provide. I am like a petulant child. I want the answer I want - not the answer that needs to be given.
And I have spent an enormous amount of my life like a wave at sea being tossed about by the wind.
So where does this lack of belief come from? I could say it comes from a lack of trust in God but as I sit here, I realize that it goes deeper than that. What it really is, deep down, is pride. Arrogant, pride. Just like Eve thought she knew better when she ate that fruit, so do I think I know better. When I pray, seeking wisdom from God, I know He is able to provide it. I also know His wisdom may lead me down the path I did not want to go. This is where my ugly pride jumps in. Why doesn't God see that I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR ME? My arrogance in believing that I know what is best, leads to a lack of trust in God and there I am - seeking God with a disbelieving heart. A wave tossed about in the ocean.
There have been some challenging times over the past year. I have struggled in my walk with the Lord. Not because I have ever doubted who He is but because I have been like my precious two year old daughter Ryen. I fully understand who is in charge and who has the most power - I just did not like it. I wanted to go my own way. When I did seek God, it was with an arrogant heart. I was not looking for God to provide me with His best. I was asking Him to give me what I wanted, so short sighted, never realizing that my "wants" were so much smaller than God's desires for my life.
When we seek wisdom from God, we need to understand that He truly has our best interest at heart. The path he guides us down may be difficult. It may be the road less taken but it is our road, designed for us before we were born by the creator of all things.
Humm... this is a start. This is all very disjointed right now so all two people who read this - just have patience with me. I have a lot more thoughts that deal with seeking wisdom, enduring trials with perseverance and considering them to be a joy... I will work on those another time. Now I am going to exercise for the first time since baby Macyn was born!
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