It has been one of those days. A day where our need for Jesus, for a Savior, for HOPE has been screaming at me. It started with a text informing me about a tragic loss for a family I know. It was followed with example after example of the need for God's love. The need for us to realize that we ARE ALL LOVED SO DEEPLY BY GOD THAT HE SENT HIS SON TO DIE FOR US.
Oddly enough none of these pictures were from my own family today (although there are many other days where that is not the case). No, my littles were actually quite well behaved and sweet today. But as we moved through our day I was overwhelmed with the need to make them realize their need for Christ. Their need for the HOPE that only He can provide.
We were wandering through PetSmart today and came across a couple with a toddler looking at animals like we were. The mother was young and sadly enough she had the telltale signs of being a meth user. I looked at the small child in her arms and I wanted to cry. What kind of life would that child have, with parents who struggled with drug use? Then I glanced at the mother and I wanted to cry even more - surely when this girl was born, her mother had wanted so much more for her. Her hope was certainly not to raise a daughter who would slip into drug addiction.
My eyes moved down to my four girls swirling about my legs as they ohhhed and ahhed at that hamsters running on the exercise wheels and I wanted to pull them to me. I wanted to rip them away from this world that will assault them from all sides and hide them away from the pain and suffering that is waiting for them. I wanted to stop time and just enjoy their sweet innocence.
I wanted to pray. Pray that God would keep them safe. Pray that God would protect them. Pray that they would have lives filled with all sorts of goodness and be painfree. Then I knew what I needed to pray for. What really mattered. A phrase my best friend uses often when talking about her teenager. I needed to pray that Jesus would capture their hearts.
Capture their hearts. That He would hold their hearts in His hand and they would never want Him to let it go. I need to pray that they would know and understand (as much as we humans possibly can) the HOPE that is in Him. That HOPE can only come through Him.
That they would know the HOPE, that they would believe the HOPE, that they would trust the HOPE that comes through Christ JESUS.
Because here is the reality that I saw time and time again today. Life is hard. This is a cruel world filled with fallen people who will hurt us constantly - sometimes on purpose, sometimes accidentally. But hurt is hurt. I can be the best mother in the world but nothing will give my children the strength they need to survive this world with a peace beyond understand (Phil 4:6-7) other than the HOPE of Jesus Christ.
I spend a lot of time praying for my children. I pray for their salvation, their well being & safety, their purpose, I pray that they will follow God's path and be used by Him, I pray that they will be happy and joyful. And some of these prayers will be answered exactly the way I want them to be. But some of them.... well some of them, God will answer in unexpected and painful ways. And the only way I can expect my children to come through this life being able to rest in the peace of God's promises is if the know the HOPE ...
The reality is, just as God gave Adam and Eve the freedom to make the first mistake in the garden, my children have that same freedom. They will make mistakes. Bad grades, bad friend choices, car accidents, drinking.... They will makes mistakes. Unwed pregnancy, drug use, lying, stealing... They will make mistakes... Rebellion, fighting, gossiping, bullying... Some mistakes will be recoverable. Some mistakes will not. Some mistakes will make tiny waves that leave little damage. Some mistakes will be hurricanes that will destroy everything in its' path.
My children NEED Christ. They NEED to know how much God loves them. I tell them all the time that God loves them more than I do but they do not understand this. How could they? How can I? I would never (let me repeat that, NEVER) let one of my children die for any of you. EVER. If letting one of them die meant you could live - sorry, I would not do it. But here is the thing, I do not love you the way God does. No one loves you (or me, or my children) the way God does. It is incomprehensible.
Unable to comprehend. A love so enormous that we cannot come close to ever understanding it. And yet I need my children to know this love. How? Jesus has got to capture their hearts.
They are not my own, these children whom I bore, who live with me each day, who I am trying my best to train and raise. They are His. And He wants them back.
I have to quit thinking about how I can control them, how I can give them the perfect life with organic recipes found on Pinterest, bought in farmer's markets, that we can do crafts and have pizza family fun nights, that the house can be organized and run perfectly and all this will draw them to Christ. I have to quit thinking that life needs to be perfect and that perfect will bring them to Christ. Christ came for the broken.
If Christ is love, the love, the HOPE that I want my children to know, then don't I have to help them to realize that it is in the broken places that they will find Christ? Our goal cannot and should not be perfection.
They are His and He wants them back.
He does not want perfect people who have no need for Him. I have been weighed down by my need for Christ today. I have cried hard tears today, tears for a family trying to recover from a horrible loss, tears for a family struggling with a wayward child, tears for a family struggling with a dying child... and yet in those tears I KNOW THE HOPE. I was sad, I was burdened but I was never without HOPE. But my heart is broken for those who do not know that HOPE.
They are His and He wants them back.
And the only way He will get them back if if they know the HOPE, believe the HOPE, trust the HOPE. So instead of trying to raise perfect children who know no sadness, suffering or loss I will try to raise children children who are able to see Christ in the broken places and know that He is the only HOPE that will lift them from those valleys.
