Repost of "Naughty or Nice" post from last year....

Naughty or Nice

First, before you decide that I am a nut, please understand that I am all about celebrating Christmas with all its' trappings! A blog (http://www.preschoolersandpeace.com/?p=1270) gave the best thoughts on this I have ever read. I am going to paraphrase but I really recommend going to the site and reading it yourself... Christians really should go all out in celebrating Christmas. We understand the truth of what The Gift was all about. That baby brought to earth the gift of salvation and eternal life, the abundant life. As Christians, we should be all about having a great big party to celebrate this. We should decorate, give gifts and have a great feast (the Old Testament is all about feasts!). Throughout it all, we need to be celebrating the The Gift. When we make Christ the center of the celebration, there is nothing wrong with having a big celebration.

With that said though, there is a part of the Christmas celebration that has been weighing heavy on my heart & it is represented in the Elf on the Shelf. I had an elf on my shelf. As I looked at it each day, thoughts just kept pricking at me. Whether you are a follower of Jesus Christ or not, there is something about this elf that creates issues for parents that cannot be denied. It may seem like holiday fun but as he looked at me each day from a new location around my house, I realized he represented deeper issues.

As far as training children, the first and most important thing every parenting expert and layman alike talks about is consistency. If you want your children to obey than you must be consistent. If you say something, than you must follow through. Once the child realizes that mom and dad do not really mean what they say (or that they do not mean it until the third, or fourth, or fifth time...) than any hope for true obedience is lost.

So let's talk about this whole naughty or nice thing. Children hear nothing else from Thanksgiving on other than "be good or Santa will not bring you any presents". And now there is this little elf that sits around the house, ready to let Santa know about any naughtiness that may be going on, ready to make sure naughty little ones will get no gifts.

Really? I mean. REALLY? Have you ever denied your children Christmas presents because he/she was naughty? Sure, I have heard a tale or two of someone getting coal in their stalking. I have never heard of a child getting absolutely nothing due to naughty behavior. And let's be honest - all children are naughty in one way or another & even if we only count the time between Thanksgiving & Christmas, I feel fairly certain most, if not every child, would be gettin' nuthin' for Christmas!

And really, what does naughty mean? Children will take this vague term & run wild with it.

Does pushing brother down count as naughty.... nope. COOL!

Does stealing sister's toys count....nope. Even more cool!

How about speaking rudely to mommy?

Not doing my chores....

Acting out at school....

Little ones will try to get away with as much as we will let them and once they figure out that the naughty/nice thing is not really set in stone, it really offers little behavior control and simply teaches our children that mommy and daddy do not mean what they say. So if you are ready to tell you children exactly what you mean by "naughty" and then enforce it without fail, by all means put that elf on your shelf & enjoy it. I struggle enough on my own enforcing the hard realities of discipline. I certainly do not need to set myself up for the reality that one (or more) of my children will be naughty, forcing me to deny them the joy of Christmas morning in order to abide by the most important principle of parenting - consistency.

This leads me to the bigger issue of the naughty/nice debate if you are a follower of Jesus Christ. As I looked at that elf on my shelf, it dawned on me that everything the elf represents goes against everything this incredible celebration is about -

Romans 5:8 tells us "While we were still sinners, Christ dies for us..."

God did not sit in heaven and say "If you are nice, I will send my Son." If we were nice, we would not have needed His son. He sent the gift of His Son because HE LOVES US. Just like we give Christmas gifts to our children even when they have been naughty BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM.

Naughty & Nice has cluttered up this holiday. And there are a lot of Christian families who have gotten caught up in that clutter. God loves us. Experiencing His love ignites the fire of obedience. Sure, that elf on my shelf may inspire short term obedience from my children but that obedience will last only as long as the desire for the toy lasts. However, it certainly does not teach our children ANYTHING about God's love. As believers, that is what we should be teaching our children during Christmas. It is not about obedience. It is about LOVE.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

As a parent, I have taken this incredible Gift and used the celebration of it to teach my children bad theology. God's Gift is not about how good we can be... God's Gift came because HE LOVES US, even while we are unlovable. And if I think that this little bit of holiday fun will not shape them and the way they think, I am just lying to myself.

How about I spend this Christmas season telling my children about the MIRACLE that God sent His Son even though no one deserved it?

How about I spend this Christmas season letting my children experience the true joy of anticipating the coming gifts without fear of not getting them because they just weren't good enough?

How about I spend the Christmas season disciplining my children just as I always do, instead of relying on an empty threat seemingly enforced by a little stuffed toy? A read through the Old Testament shows us that God disciplined the Israelites while they waited for the gift of the messiah. There were plenty of consequences for their bad actions, but God never said, "Sorry, you have been too naughty so I am not giving you the gift of the Savior right now." And He NEVER threatened to not send the Gift in order to get the Israelites to obey.

So, I have struggled through the realities of what this little elf has revealed to me. I mean, really, isn't it all in the name of holiday fun? Is it really THAT big of a deal? But then it hit me that YES, it IS that big of a deal. Beyond setting myself up to fail in the area of discipline because I will NEVER wake up Christmas morning & not give my little ones gifts, I am denying my children the opportunity to experience the TRUE JOY of Christmas - celebrating several weeks of anticipating the gifts that are guaranteed to come just because Keith & I love them, just like the Gift of Salvation that God guaranteed would come just because HE LOVES US.

ON THE THRID DAY OF CHRISTMAS

So we have had three days of Advent....  it has been good, it has been crazy.  I have NOT tackeled any crazy crafts or projects yet....  I almost feel like I have to work up to those... if we start off with something too big and it goes badly, I will give up and forget this whole crazy idea.

Our Advent season has been something I have wanted to to since before I had children.  I read, in one of my favorite books by Madeline L'Engle about a family that did something special each day through the Advent season building up to that very special day.  I could not WAIT until I had children and could start doing it with them.  That first year (when Bowden was just five months old) was a little disappointing.  He was not so interested in making cookies!  However, it was A LOT easier to get all sort of baking and decorating done than it is now with four little crazies running around!



As Bowden got older and we added more little ones, I have been able to really develop it into a season of true ADVENTure!  He is six now and this will be our third year of doing something special (craft, decorating, baking, delivering treats or going somewhere special) each day through the month of December.  I will say though, this year, being pregnant with number five, I AM finding it hard to sum up the energy!  However, their anticipation and excitement at what each new day will hold inspires me to get it together!!!

Day 1 started with  finding the WISE MEN.  We have a beautiful Fontanini nativity set that Keith's mother gave us and our wise men spend the month traveling throughout the house.  Each morning the little ones strive to be the first to find them so they can pull the Advent Calendar pocket for that day.  then we were off to make paper chains.  This was easy and super fun for our little ones! 

Day 2 was putting up the "Children's Tree" in the playroom (big thanks to Daddy who did all the hard work).  When we first moved into our house and celebrated our first Christmas, I was a little sad that we spent most of our time in the family room and the tree was in the living room.  Last year, sweet Jennifer gave us her old fake tree so we could have one in the family room to enjoy.  This is the tree we let the little ones put pretty much anything they want on.  The make all sort of things for it.  They COVERED it in silver, green and purple beads this year (thanks again to Jennifer).  We have really enjoyed this new tradition!

 This is our "winter scene", All fall, we had leaves that were changing & falling, pumpkins and even a few bats....  I thought I had a picture of it but could not find it.  You can also see the Children's tree

 Sorry the picture is sideways, I was having trouble downloading from Iphoto tonight.....

 The chain can be seen in the edge of this photo

 Making our snowmen

 He does make such interesting faces..... (you can see in the background that the snow has not fallen on our tree yet....)



Day 3 we made cotton snow men.  Not a hard craft but they certainly loved smothering their little men with lots of cotton!  Then we hung them up on our landscape scene.

We also light an Advent candle each night and our family Bible time is doing an Advent reading and singing Christmas carols instead of regular hymns.  I will try share some of those readings and verses when it is not 11:00 at night! 

I do so love this time of year and I love the excitement my children bring with them, each day!

The First Day of Christmas

In the Jones house we never do anything small...so why would we only celebrate 12 days of Christmas?  This is and always has been my favorite time of year.  There are some hard emotions that have come with it since my father passed away on Christmas Day nine years ago this year but it does not change the fact that this Advent Season is all about the anitcipation of our Savior's birth so long ago and of His coming again one of these days... 
So we will put away the traditional trappings of homeschooling and spend a month doing special things each day in preparation.  I love the way my children get so excited with each new day... there excitement growing and growing!  I will be posting pictures and tales of our ADVENTures over the next 25 days... until then, here are some pictures of past years!

Why do I Facebook?

I have been asking myself this question for A LONG time.  At least a year.  And please, let me preface this with a comment - this blog is ABOUT ME...  my thoughts and my feelings and how they apply to ME.  I am not making ANY broad statements about others.  I am simply taking a look at my personality, weaknesses, strengths and tendencies and thinking how social media affects ME.

I remember a couple of years ago when someone asked me if I was on Facebook.  I had NO IDEA what it was.  Keith explained it to me, we looked at the site and I signed up for an account.  There was some serious fun in those first days.  I searched for friends long past.  I was "friended" by people I had not heard from in DECADES.  It was so neat to see what people I had known so long ago had been up to.  I also played a bit of Oregon Trail (which I think is no longer available on the site).  Keith did some silly race car game and we learned how to post pictures and enjoyed the excitement of instantly sharing photos of our little ones with friends and family. 

And then there was the best part....  THE STATUS  LINE.  I mean really, there was nothing more enticing to THIS stay at home, homeschooling mom than the opportunity to share pithy comments about my day with other adults who would appreciate them so much more than my children ever did.  Suddenly all those thoughts that rolled around in my head had a place to be heard.  Suddenly I was getting instant feed-back;  praise for my clever wit & my adorable children's antics along with support if something rough had fallen upon my path.  I made a conscious effort to NOT use the venue to gripe or complain about things (although I am certainly not perfect!) and I enjoyed letting the world know what an awesome husband I had and how God had blessed our family.  During this time our computer was in the family room, shut up in an cabinet.  I did not have simple access to it during the day and let's be honest, that Dell just took FOREVER to load up and so just posting a quick status update was not an easy thing to do.  But that desire to be heard had taken root and over the next two years it would grow beyond reason.

However, a few things began to change over the course of the next two years that have changed the excitement over from those first few months to a thing of stress and grief.  First, I began to notice that MANY of the people who were friending me from high school were people that I did not even really know.  One day I thought to myself "Why would these people want to be friends with me now?"  It seemed like just picking out a random person on the street to friend.  So I started to be more selective about who I clicked "accept" on.  Then I started realizing that even many of the people who I did actually know were very different than I was.  Please do not get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with being different than me - but I decided I did not really want to hear about so many  people's lives in such detail.  This is when I actually started "unfriending"  people. 

Unfriending was hard though.  Harder than I ever thought it would be.  In my heart I knew that these people were NOT people I would ever do anything with but even though I did not truly WANT to hear the details of their lives, there was something almost intoxicating about remaining in contact with them.  I felt like something from my past had been found and even though on most every level I wanted to be free from them, there was this part of me that was afraid to let go.  WHY?  Why is that?

Things really hit a peak during the '08 presidential election and again during the "great healthcare debate".  I am a debater by nature, top that with being passionate about what I believe and I suddenly found myself in heated debates with people who I did not know on statuses posted by common friends.  Keith pointed out to me, on more than one occasion, that the reality of me winning someone to my side via a Facebook status debate was rather slim and he did not understand why I let myself get so riled up. 

However, none of this compares to with this fall.  These past couple of months on Facebook have brought very little excitement and quite a bit of despair.    I have been on the receiving end of some very cruel comments and I have myself made a comment that caused a very important person in my life enormous heart ache.  There have been a few other instances of friends being "attacked" verbally by others as well.  And all this has caused me to stop and wonder - why DO I Facebook?

In the midst of the pain I caused this week, I was moments away from deleting my account all together but there was something that just would not let me.  And I did not like what I was feeling.  It is hard for me to put into words what it was, but it was not good.  I liked feeling connected with others.  That is not such a bad thing but are these connections real?  Over the past few months I had seen these people turn on each other and me in just a blink of an eye.  It is oh so much easier to say something cruel when you are not actually looking at the person.  My heartless, cruel remark was just that, something that should have been said to my loved one and not on Facebook but it was easier to complain in cyberspace then it was to just talk to that person.   And maybe, even though you clicked on the word "friend", just maybe that person was NOT really your friend after all? 

I also realized that being able to share my thoughts in an instant gave me a sense of importance.  Vanity really.  Let's be honest, my thoughts had always been important and now Facebook (and the fact that we now had a fast starting Mac up and running in our kitchen) gave me a chance to let the world hear all the important, pithy things I had to say.  I can remember the excitement as I would walk through the kitchen and tapped on the space bar to see if anyone had commented on my latest quip.  Then I realized that as I had spent more time Facebooking, I had spent less time blogging.  And I do love to blog.  And the difference with blogging is that when I used to blog - it was about me and God.  Blogging was about me spending time writing, trying to figure out what God had in store for me and sharing that with the two people who read my blog.  There was never a deep desire to hear back on a blog because the blog was not about other making me feel good, it was about God revealing Himself to me.  But as Facebook grew, blogging faded.  The draw of the quick and easy was too much for the time spent seeking God through words, prayer and contemplation.

I have rethought my Facebook usage.  It has not all been bad.  There have been a few very important people in my past that I have found and that is wonderful.  I have deepened some relationships with some who do not live close by and that has been a true blessing.  I am able to easily let our far away family see photos of the goings on in Little Rock and that is great.  But Facebook has changed for me.  I will no longer allow it to be a social outlet.  I will use the messaging system to get a hold of people.    I will no longer seek worth from it.  Worth can only come from one source and that is our Father above.  I am not saying you will never see a status update from me again, however it will no longer be done in the attempt to fulfill the need for community.  My life is so full already and it just seemed like all Facebook was doing was pulling me in a million different directions.  My sphere had grown so big that the noise was deafening.    I need some quiet now and I do believe there are many others who will be happy to not hear from me so often!

A love letter to my husband

My Dearest Handsome Man,
Eight years ago today the weather was A LOT like it is today...  cold and rainy.  But that cold rain is one of the things that made our wedding day so special.  Weird, I know.  But I love the fact that despite what the weather was like outside, the overwhelming joy of marrying you was shinning brighter than the sun in my heart!

Perhaps my favorite memory of that day was when I was asked how it was possible that I could be so calm on my wedding day and upon reflection I answer that it was because God had made it so clear to me that this was His plan for my life that there was no need to be nervous!  And I can honestly say that marrying you was God's plan for my life.  And that plan has been AWESOME!!!!

You are my BEST friend, Keith.  I know it is not cool to say that.  I know I am "supposed" to prefer to spend time with my children and girlfriends but that is just not the truth!  I do not just love you, I LIKE you.  I like to hang out and watch football with you.  I like to talk politics with you.  I like the fact that just hanging out with you and doing not much of anything is better than do a whole bunch of something with other people! 

Please do not get me wrong, you can certainly irritate me at times & I am I certain that I can get under your skin every once and a while.  But you and I did not go into this marriage with rose colored glasses.  We knew it would be hard work and I want to THANK YOU for your commitment to working hard.  I want to thank you for being emotionally available to me.  I want to thank you for allowing me to experience emotional swings and not holding it against me or just dismissing them as hormones.  I want to thank you for always guarding your heart against passivity and being cliche`.  I actually LOVE when we hear things about "how all men act" and thinking "Keith NEVER acts that way".... 

Eight years... I cannot believe it.  Eight years... four (and a half) children..... I cannot believe THAT!  I can HONESTLY say I did NOT expect the be expecting our fifth child on this day eight years ago.  But I am so happy that we have gone on this journey together.  And perhaps my greatest memory of childbirth will always be you saying (not a minute after Kailyn was born)  "WE HAVE GOT TO DO THIS AGAIN!"  You are an INCREDIBLE father and that is a gift beyond words to me as a wife and mother.  We talk about love languages periodically and I can easily say that each time I see you being a loving, Godly, attentive father to our children (which is ALL THE TIME) my love tank overflows!

Your commitment to do the right thing & your integrity are so clearly based in seeking God  and doing His will that it is easy to follow your lead.  I KNOW that I am not always the easiest woman to live with.  I am a hard-headed woman!   I have made mistakes financially that we are still paying for but you have taken all that in stride.  You truly understand the concept of forgiveness and practice it in your life daily.  Thank you for loving me, flaws and all!

I cannot say that you complete me,  but you ALWAYS point me to the one who will complete me...  Thank you for eight years of servant leadership.   Thank you for eight years of fun and passion.  Thank you for eight years of giving me your best every single day!

I love you more today than I did back then!
Your wife in Christ,
Shasta

The ENTIRE talk... way too long for a blog!

here is the entire talk... it is a lot long for a blog but I was supposed to speak for about 15 minutes....  It is also written to be spoken, so PLEASE (if you do struggle through reading it) do not attack my grammar...  These are a mix between notes and a script....

Thank you.  It really is a honor to get to come and talk here today.

 I remember just six years ago, I was starting Moms and More.  My first child was just a month and half old and just getting here was a project. 

My world had changed in a way beyond anything I could have imagined.

 I went from pretty much doing what I wanted most of the day – even while I was working, I got breaks and lunch and when the work day was over, my time was my own to being on beck and call 24 hours a day. 

Suddenly, I was at home all the time with a little creature whom I loved more than anything but really was not all that interested in anything I had to offer except …well, my breast when it was time to eat.  There was no more fun interactions with coworkers.  Lunch time shopping trips were a thing of the past and getting together with friends in the evenings suddenly involved finding babysitters and a special budget just to pay for her!  Frankly, I was a little bored! 

Now, six years later, I am expecting my fifth child and I have to laugh at the thought of being bored!

So much has changed over the past six years that I could not share all of it with you if they let me talk to all morning.  Each child has revealed new insights about God and new weaknesses in myself.    But it was not until the birth of my fourth child – I have a VERY slow learning curve - that I really even began to get a handle on what it was exactly that God is calling me to… what He is calling all of us blessed to be mothers to be…  Keepers of the Home.

When I first started hearing this phrase, I really did not have any clue what it meant.  I mean it sounds wonderful… Keeper of the Home…  but what does it mean?  And how do I even DO that? 

Let’s be honest, I barely manage to get my children’s hair brushed in the mornings, let alone “Keep my home” in some Godly way. 

But I looked at other mothers, whom I respected, I watched their lives, I spoke with them, I read the Bible searching for what God calls mothers to be.  I talked with my husband about his vision for our home.  I prayed, a lot.  I am still praying.

Our homes should be a

safe haven,

a place of refuge for our family. 

I often say, I want Jesus to drip from our home. 

I want our children to see Jesus in everything we do as a family. 

And what I realized is that in order for that to happen in our home, I need to have a plan.  I need to have a level of organization that makes it easier to function in the midst of chaos – and believe me having four children in four and a half years leads a certain amount of chaos!

So today, I wanted to share with you some practical tips for you to start thinking about becoming a  keeper of your  own home. 

First and foremost, you HAVE to spend time with Jesus every day (preferably first thing in the morning).

Do not believe satan's lie that it has to be an hour, just a short devotional to get your mind on the right things is enough at this phase of life.  This has been a big struggle for me.  Let’s be honest, it is HARD to get up earlier than your little ones to read the Bible and pray!  But answer me a question….  How many of you have a smart phone?  You know, the ones you read your email on or check your facebook account with?  You go to bed with it on your night table and check your email first thing when you get up?  Perfect! 

Subscribe to Fellowship Journal.  Every morning you will get an email that contains a passage from the Bible and one of the pastor’s comments on that passage.  It is the perfect early morning devotional! 

Even if you are not interested in FJ, the most important thing you can do with your day is spend the first few minutes giving it to Christ!  Find a devotional, leave it by your bed and read it before you get out of bed. 

Our bookstore has a lot of good ones (I just checked yesterday) including my very favorite for first time moms Baby Boot Camp.  It truly was a gift from God right after my son was born.  I have started giving it to first time moms when I visit them in the hospital.

 Another idea is to just put your Bible on the counter, open to a particular verse and every time you walk past it, stop to read it.  I did that for a long time and it worked very well, until my three year old reached up, pulled it down and ripped out a few of the front pages…  Make sure you keep it out of reach of destructive toddlers!

I cannot stress this enough.  Get into the word, get on your knees and ask God to be your strength throughout the day.  Your day may still be complete chaos but He is faithful and He will give you the strength and patience to get through it in a way that glorifies Him!

The next most important thing you can do is

Put your husband first – BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN!  I know, this is really hard for some of you but it is how God designed it.  He brought man and woman together and THEN the children came!

            

Find out what is important to him in the area of home keeping (tidy house, dessert after dinner, shirts ironed, etc.) and really focus on meeting those one or two desires daily.

Different things matter to different men, some men want the house neat when they get home, others would rather have dessert every night.  TALK TO HIM, find out what matters to him.  And if he is not a talker, become a student of your husband, learn what makes him happy and DO THOSE THINGS. 

Be excited to see him every time he comes in regardless of the chaos ensuing seconds before he walked in. This takes MUCH prayer!!!

             Do not just get dressed up on Bible study/church days or for GNOs. Make yourself look nice for him. 

            Make coming home a thing of joy for your husband so that he clearly sees that he comes first in your life and that you care for him more than your children.

Your husband is your partner, God designed you to do this entire thing WITH him.  It is so easy, in the midst of this crazy season to just take this gift from God for granted – and trust me, satan wants to use this season to destroy what God has brought together and if we are not careful he will do it. Discover a few important things to your husband and work very hard to do those well.  You will not be disappointed. 

Develop a system for keeping the house decent/clean.

I am not blessed to have a cleaning lady.  If you are, do not tell me or you will cause me to sin as I will have serious envy of you!. 

If you are like me and struggling with how to keep your house clean now that there are little ones demanding time and making messes, you need to develop a system for getting things done around the house.

One of the BIGGEST mistakes I made as a first time mom was only cleaning during naptime.  I know, some of you are saying “Huh?  When are we supposed to get things done?” 

Do things while your little ones are awake when you can.

 This will teach you how to get things done with them around

Your little ones will learn to be more independent and play on their own here and there

Beyond this, as they get older and stop napping, you and your child will have learned to do things around the house – and you will not be like me, struggling to get things done now that you have a couple of non-nappers in the house!

Develop a cleaning schedule. 

I have a friend who just rotated things weekly.  One week was dusting & cleaning the floors.  One week was cleaning the bathroom & kitchen. 

I have been using a monthly schedule.  I wrote down everything that needs to be done on a weekly, biweekly & monthly basis on a spread sheet.  I print it out each month & keep it on the fridge.  I check off things as I get them done through the week.  Over the course of the month I can see easily what things have gotten done and what has gotten ignored.    And there is nothing more satisfying than seeing a whole bunch of check marks.

And finally, in the area of cleaning – lower your standards.  Your house may not be as clean as it used to be.  I am a very neat and tidy person and motherhood has been an attack on my senses in this area!  I still struggle with this a lot.  But again, I talked to my husband, we decided what the most important areas are and we focus our energies on these things. 

However you do it, to be a keeper of your home – you need to have a plan as to how you are going to keep it livable and a refuge for your family.

Develop a menu each week.

This will keep you from making extra trips to the store with children it tow

(I came back from vacation one time and just could not get back into the swing and made 5 trips to the store in 5 days to get that one thing I needed for dinner, this was with three children and pregnant with the fourth.  My BF performed and intervention and forced me to make a menu and grocery list the next week)

It also honors your husband because it helps you to stay within a budget and shows him you recognize the hard work he puts into earning money for the family!

I have done cooking for 30 days with a couple of friends.  I hate it the week we cook and love it for the weeks afterwards when all I have to do is pull something out of the freezer to make dinner. 

I know people who are part of cooking co-ops that share nightly cooking duties. 

I have also had specific nights for food – Tuesday Tacos, Pizza Family Fridays, it makes it easier for you have a couple of days that are always the same.

However you do it, plan out your meals and go to the store with a list.  Your house will run much more smoothly and it will take A LOT of stress off of you which will in turn make your home a refuge for your family!

Finally -

Start teaching your children the word and truths of God from the very beginning.

Teach your children what you believe and why and then Live the things you teach…  you would be shocked at how early little ones can learn scriptures.  My husband leads our family in Bible time 5 -6 times a week and even our 18 month old sits in for it.  She may not be able to say the verses yet, but I can assure you just as she knows the candy corn is on top of the fridge, she is learning what mommy and daddy believe and why! 

So much of this seems so simple and unimportant.

Spend time in the word every day

Put your husband first in your family

Develop a system to keep your house clean and comfortable

Make menu plans

And – teach your children what you believe and why

  It seems lost in the scheme of the “real world” but the reality is what we do each day with our little ones is of vital importance to our world and God’s Kingdom.  When we keep our home as God as called us to… a refuge, a safe haven, a place where Jesus invades every corner, we a training our children to be kingdom builders for Christ. 

Quick notes from my talk at Moms and More

These are the 5 main point I made during my talk....  I will post the entire talk after this ....

1.Spend time in the word every day - preferably first thing in the morning

2.Put your husband first in your family

3.Develop a system to keep your house clean and comfortable

4.Make menu plans

And 

5.Teach your children what you believe and why

Pilate addressed them once more, desiring to release Jesus, but they kept shouting, "Crucify, crucify him!" 

Luke 23:20-21

I was sitting in church the other day when this verse came up on the screen, as I read it a though suddenly crossed my mind...

How many time have I shouted out "CRUCIFY HIM!  CRUCIFY HIM!" through my actions?

You see, there are many times in my life when I have read the New Testament and wondered: What is wrong with those people?  They were walking right along side JESUS! 

THE KING...  they doubted, they questioned, they mocked...  He was right there with them and still they did not believe....  I have told myself many times that if I had walked with Jesus, I would gotten out of the boat and NOT fallen in the water! 

But who am I kidding!  I have seen the hand of Christ clearly in my life and the lives of those around me.  I have seen miracles and heard His voice spoken in my heart.  I have walked with Jesus, just as those 2000+ years ago did and yet I still stumble and fall.  I make conscious decisions to do what I want to do instead of what God is calling me to do.  I am still self-serving and sinful.  And each time I choose to put my own desires above those of the Savior who died for me... each time I decide to do what I want instead of seeking the will of God, who knows what is best for me....   each time I decide that even though I know in my heart who He is, I still just want things MY way, I am shouting out....

"CRUCIFY HIM!  CRUCIFY HIM!"

My family traveled up to Rogers, AR over the Independence Day holiday this year.  Keith and I decided to attend a church planted by our church on Sunday morning.  After depositing the children in their respective classes, we settled in to worship and hear the message.  It was on John 8: 1-11... Jesus and the adulteress woman.  It was a good message.  But there was nothing screaming out to me - no life changing take away.  We enjoyed visiting the church and had a nice visit with my sister and her husband.

Flash forward one week.  We are sitting in our own church, our children have been dropped off in their respective classes and I look down to see what the message will be about... to my surprise it is John 8: 1-11.  REALLY?  Now the church in NWA was doing a series on the Book of John, our church has been doing a series on the sayings and conversations of Jesus.  The chances of these two churches preaching on the same message, on back to back weekends, when we would be attending both churches is pretty slim.  Now, I always get chills when it is so clear and obvious that God has a particularly specific message for us but I just could not figure this out.  I did not see myself sliding into this particular woman's sin.  We sat a listened to the message and still I did not see it.  Why, dear Lord, why, have we heard this passage preached to us two weeks in a row.

I prayed about it for another day before it came clear.  The final line in the story - the last words of Jesus to this woman who was almost stoned to death.  "Go, and sin no more"

Now some of the background I have heard on this particular passage was that, from the language, they can ascertain that this woman was not a one time offender.  She was in the habit of committing adultery.  It was her way of life.  A habit she could not break?  An addiction?  So, after saving her life, Jesus say "Go, and sin no more."

He does not say "Go, and try to do better."

Or "Go, and do the best you can."

Or "Go, and don't worry about it if you sin again, I will be here to save you next time."

He said "Go and sin no more"  SIN NO MORE.

She looked Him in the eyes & recognized Him as Savior.  He forgave her and commanded her to stop it. 

How many times do we decide to walk away from a sin and then after some time we find ourselves neck deep in it again, drowning in guilt that we have failed once more.  This is NOT the life Jesus desires for us.  He believes that we can walk FREE FROM SIN.  If He did not believe that this woman could break free from her sin, He would not have said those words to her.  He would have encouraged her with those other phrases.  But the man who came to die for her, to die for us, knew that through Him, she/we could indeed live the abundant life here and now free from sin.

So, THAT is what it took me two weekends in a row to figure out.  Not only am I forgiven from the sins I commit but through Christ, I have to power to walk away from the sins in my life that drag me down and stifle me with guilt! 

"God is just as able to sanctify as He is to redeem us"
Stepping Heavenward

Let's not just live in the redemption but also in the joy of sanctification!

Quitting

I am quitting.  Giving up.  Failing.  These are hard things for me to type.  These are hard things for me to admit to myself.  But I am.  As of about an hour and a half ago I will no longer be trying to potty train my 3 year old.  I know, I can feel the judgment as you read this.  Other mothers are looking at me thinking - "what is WRONG with you?  You can't potty train your little girl?  Girls are the easiest!  Loser".  I am saying these things to myself.  I am crying as I type this.  But I know that it is the right thing.  The right thing for me and more importantly the right thing for my daughter.

A year ago, I thought I had it going on.  I was a prideful potty trainer.  My boy was the easiest of easy to potty train.  It took very little time or mental energy.  Man, I am good!  Evynn rolled around and we had some issues during the night with #2 but even that did not bother me so much because it was always in a pull up and easy to deal with.  Strangely enough that cleared up completely right as Ryen was born.  So for about six months we were zipping along with very few accidents and two children who went when they needed to go, who went when I told them to go.  Man, I am good!  I should offer a class!  I could charge people for this!  What is wrong with those people who struggle with this?

The haughty looks of man shall be brought low,and the lofty pride of men shall be humbled,and the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.
Isaiah 2:11

 I was prideful.   I will not deny it.  And I have been humbled.  HUMBLED.  Around the beginning of December I decided to tackle child number 3.  She was 2 1/2.  The same age as my other success stories.  She is smart and has a willing spirit.  How hard could it be?  Oh, if I had only known.  


It is now July and she had three accidents in the course of two hours just this morning.  One of them was pretty big.  I took her to the bathroom 2 times in that same period.    I will not bore you with all the details of the past seven months but let's just say we have tired EVERYTHING.  We have had days and even a couple of weeks here and there that have been accident free but we always slip back into this.  There never seems to be any long term progress.  I have tried just about everything to bribe, persuade, discipline, ignore, tears, yelling....  


To top it all off, child #2 who had been "successfully potty trained for over 8+ months" suddenly started having accidents - multiple accidents through out the day... days.   My patience has worn thin and I am out of ideas.  I am struggling to just hold it together in this area.


Then this week, two different friends saw their daughters end up in the hospital - one a precious new born baby and one a grown adult.  And this morning, as I was at UAMS praying for one of them, I realized something needed to change and it was me.  I have a short time with my amazing children - these wonderful gifts from God.  Do I want to waste it yelling, guilting, scolding, them because they cannot... will not go in the potty at this juncture?  I am certain neither will head off to college wearing Depends.  


The storm of the two girls peeing themselves all the time has overwhelmed me.  I am at a loss as to what to do and I feel like a failure.  But I cannot let these circumstances change what God has called me to do.  He has called me to get these children prepared for eternity (not just life here on earth but eternity - thank you for this thought, Wendy).  I am certainly not representing a gracious God to these two children in this area and there is only one way to change that.  I will divide and conquer.  I know that Evynn is capable of doing this.  So, I am going to put Kailyn in a pull up and stop worrying about her.  I will no longer have to deal with the wet clothes and the tears on both our parts.  I can go back to just loving on her and enjoying her for a while.  I will focus on Evynn and get her back on track.  


I am a failure.  I can already imagine the looks that the other mothers will give me.  But I know in my heart of hearts that this is the right thing to do.  She will go in the potty consistently one of these days.  For whatever reason, she is not ready now and I value my relationship with her too much to sacrifice it over wet underwear.  


I am grateful for this lesson.  Grateful to our Lord who knows that pride just keeps us from seeing the good in others; pride just keeps us from helping and being helped; pride is a wall that separates us from true community with others and destroys those who are stuck behind that wall with us.  I am so sorry to my children who have suffered due to my pride.  I am grateful for this lesson now and the time I have to change and be changed by a Savior who loves me!

Two posts in one day... so unlike me... however I have been thinking a lot about the post I did early this morning and wanted to expand upon it...  If you have not read that, you might look at it first. 
I spoke of a path - one rocky and one that looked rather easy.  I spoke about having to choose between the two.  I realized later that it goes a bit deeper than this.  Almost ten years ago I was at a crossroads.  I had been on a path that was horrible.  It was filled with heartache and pain.  There was no peace.  Then I got to the crossroads.  That new path was the one Christ offered.  It was uphill and rocky, it did not look easy at all, from the point I was at, it looked very hard - losing friends, walking away from my entire life - but it was worth it because I could see so clearly that Christ would be leading me and I could still taste the bitterness of the life without Him at the head. 

My 20s were hard.  They were sad.  I will certainly NEVER look back and think "those were the best years of my life".  The choice to pick up my cross and follow Christ was an easy one once I fully understood it.  Dieing to self was not hard as there was not much I liked about my life.  I came to Christ not long before I turned 29.  I got married at 30 and started a whole new life.  The good life.  I had (and still have) an incredible husband, developed amazing friendships and experienced earthly security in a way I never had before.  And somewhere along the way, I took a wrong turn.  I got caught up in seeking the good life and not the Abundant life.  And here is another thing I have realized, the more we expereince the good life, the harder it is to seek after the Abundant life.  I mean really.  When I was on my knees crying out to Christ at 28, my life was a wasteland of shallow, unsatistifactory stuff.   Giving up THAT to follow Christ was not so  hard.  But now, my life is filled with so much that matters.  The thought of losing all this to follow Christ terrifies me! 


Here is how I think satan has worked in my life over the past few years....  Things have gone well for me, for my family.  I am so grateful for ALL that we have.  But as I have gotten more, I have sought God less.  I have gotten caught up in the day to day of living.  Then, in seeking God less, I begin to think it is up to me to control what happens.  So, when I first came to Christ, I was walking up that path holding the cross on my back, now I slide it down and try to drag it with one hand while I hold on to all these things that matter so much to me.  I get tired...  we are not meant to carry heavy loads with just one hand, dragging behind us.  I seek God less.  I seek more control.  I grab more stuff to hold on to.  It is a cycle that continues and continues to drag me down and wear me out.  Where is this ABUNDANT life that was promised to me?  And just when I begin to doubt that this is worth it... there is that path... that clear, easy path. 

I have been on that path.   I know the truth of what lies beyond the easy opening.  It is dark and hopeless. 

God is so good.  He has promised us the Abundant life and it is real.  I have lived it.  But we need to remember, the Abundant life is not the good life.  It is not about things or even people.  It is not about our circumstances or being in control.  It is about living as one with Christ.  It is about being consumed by the Holy Spirit and living in a way that brings glory to God.  That is the only thing that will bring true satisfaction and peace.

Last week I posted a facebook status that I felt our family was at a crossroad and I was wondering which way to go.  there were a couple people who were curious and I am going to atempt to work though it here.  First, I think there is the way God desires us to go and they I think there is the way that looks easier.  As I stand at the crossroads - I see one path is straight uphill. The path is not at all smooth.  It does not seem to lead anywhere and looks to be dangerous.  The path looks smooth and simple.   So I was thinking, praying about which path to take.

I do so love when God answers your questions so clearly that there is no doubt that path He has chosen.  Yesterday, at church, one of our teaching pastors gave one of the best messages I have heard in a long time (and our teachers give good messages every Sunday, this one was just over the top).  He was talking about Matthew 10"34-39.  It is all about losing ourselves for Christ.... mother against daughter, father against son, pick up your cross and follow Christ.... 

Christ starts out this passage saying He did not come to bring peace but the sword.  I spent a large part of my early life as a Christian praying for peace and I was blessed with it.  But I have found lately that it has been lacking in my life again.  One of the things that our pastor spoke of yesterday is that peace ONLY comes after battling through sin and when Christ refers to bringing the sword what does He mean? The word of God of course.  Head over to Ephesians 6 and check out the armour of God - the sword is the word.  Christ has come to bring the sword to eliminate sin - we must battle through that sin to have peace with God.  And to battle through that sin, I must be spending more time int he word than I have been. 

I feel my foot taking a step towards that rocky path.

This passage also speaks of throwing down our lives and picking up our cross to follow Christ.  As I thought about my life, a vision came to me.  I HAVE picked up the cross.  But I am currently just dragging it behind me.  My arms are filled with all the things of this life I do not want to let go of... anger, greed, trust, control....  my arms are filled and so I cannot carry the cross like I should.  I am gripping it with one had dragging it behind me and I AM TIRED!  I wonder how many other Christians find this life tiring?   We do not understand that in order to live the abundant life NOW we have to get rid of all that other stuff.  How much easier would it be, if we would throw down the things of this world, hike that cross up onto our back in a way that will be easier to bare the weight and get moving?

Christ has promised us the abundant life NOW.  But so many of us miss it because we are struggling for control.  We do love Christ, we understand (on a human level) what He has done for us and we want what He promises.  We just cannot let go of the things of this world.  Satan whispers to us that if we stop watching those TV shows, life will be dull.  That of we do not have that new stuff we will be unsatisfied.  That if our children act out, we are failures as mothers.  That if we do not have control of every outcome things will turn out badly.  He lies to me that I CAN control every outcome, if I just yell enough. 

But here is the thing - we CANNOT carry the cross as long as we are holding on to all these other things.  We cannot choose to do things that offend our Savior and then expect Him to bless us with the abundant life.  And here is the other thing that our pastor spoke of yesterday - carrying the cross was not some promise for good times as we humans understand it.  When He told the disciples to carry the cross, He was promising them humiliation, immense struggle and most likely a horrible death (that is what the connotations of carrying the cross meant back then).  And yet I speak of abundant life.  Why?  Because He said carry the cross and "follow me".  It is walking with Christ that we experience the abundant life.  Regardless of our circumstances, when we walk with Christ we will have that peace, that joy.

I have allowed fear to keep me from walking up that path - fear of what my life will look like, fear of losing control.  I have allowed my circumstances to let me believe lies.  Regardless of what is going on around me - when I throw down fear and pick up my cross, Christ is in front of me.  The path may be difficult but Christ goes first showing me the way. 

Press into Jesus

Last night, after bath, we let our little ones stay up to watch a cartoon.  After much debate and compromise, they agreed upon Monsters Inc.  They have all seen it several times but it was what Kailyn wanted to watch and she was not budging.  It is hard to compromise with a three year old.  Keith and I were in the kitchen struggling through our vacation plans (a trip out to So Cal to see my family that may never get completely planned... arrrgggg).  After a while of moving watching, Kailyn came staggering into the room, crying and shaking.  I quickly picked her up and asked what was wrong... thinking she had fallen off the couch... or been hit by someone bigger and older....  but she quickly said the movie was too scary.  I avoided the temptation to say "You picked it... you insisted on it... you have seen it at least three times..." and simply cuddled her into my arms.  She really was shaking.  I do not know why it had scared her so much this time.  Maybe it was that when they has sat down to watch the movie it was still light out but the sun had quickly dropped past the horizon and the room was dark.  Maybe she had just never really watched the movie before.  Maybe it was the surround sound (they usually watch on the smaller TV without the fancy sound system).  Whatever the reason behind the fear, she was scared and so I held her.

As my arms encircled her and I wiped away her tears, speaking sweet words in her ear, I could feel her body press into mine.  Settling in, knowing she was safe now.  I wrapped my arms tighter and thought about how we all need to press into Jesus.  When times are hard, or scary; when it gets dark and everything looks different than it did just a short time before - we need to cuddle up and press into our Savior.  He will always take us up, wipe away our tears and whisper comfort into our ear.

It did not take Kailyn long to recover and she spent the remainder of the movie enjoying mommy and daddy to herself.  What a sweet, precious child we have been blessed with!

The concept of modesty has been on my heart a lot lately. I have always wanted to be a stylish girl and I think that there have been times when I have succeeded in this. There were times (before I was a believer and before I decided to keep ten extra pounds as a reminder of each precious baby) that I was pretty far off the road of modesty. I had a "nice" body and I wanted everyone to notice.

There have even been times since giving my life to Christ that I would "show off my goodies" and tell myself that I was actually doing a good thing because nonbelievers would see that you did not have to dress like Laura Ingalls in order to love the Lord. I thought it might draw in nonbelievers. Please know that I am laughing at myself as I type this.

But I have traveled a little further along the journey now and I see that there is something to be said about modesty.

My husband is doing a Bible/book study with a group of men one morning a week and recently the topic was lust. Men are visual creatures and the discussion circled around how they can protect themselves from this sin. The man leading the group shared his philosophy. It really opened my eyes to some things so I will paraphrase it here:
"I tell myself that I am fasting every day. I do not allow myself to look at other women. I do not let my eyes linger, even for a moment. I am fasting for my wife. Then when I get home and we are alone, my fast is over and I can feast on the bounty the Lord has provided for me. My wife was a little taken aback the first time I feasted visually on her as she got undressed but once I explained to her where my thought process was, she embraced it and now enjoys it."

So find me a woman who would not LOVE to know her husband fasts all day. I am blessed to have a husband just like this. He is excited to see me and what the Lord has provided in me every day. But then I started thinking.... am I letting other men "feast" on me throughout the day? Am I dressing in a way that provides men with the chance to think lustful thoughts? And if my husband is fasting all day - decided to not look at other women- should I be dressing in a way that is lust inducing?

The answers to these questions were pretty clear. If Keith can abstain from looking at women, surely I can find a way to dress that does not draw men to look at me and think of sex. But what is that way?

Do I need to dress like Laura Ingalls? That certainly does not call out to me. I do NOT in any way think there is anything wrong with that. However, I can honestly say that as a nonbeliever, it would have been hard for me to see my life as a Christian if it meant dressing in a long skirt and a pinafore. I have friends who dress this way and it works for them. I think it is great but am not really thinking this is the road for me.

Does it mean that I need to wear skirts and dresses all the time?

Some of the questions I had a while back are not so troublesome for me these days as certain styles do not look good on me (see previous comment about the ten extra pounds from each baby!!!) but they are all things that are on my heart, especially as I raise a son and three daughters.

One thing I do know though, is that it is not just a man's job to avoid lustful thoughts, it is our job as women to dress in a way that helps them out. Think about it like a present...

You get a gift that is so poorly wrapped that you can see clearly what is underneath the wrapping paper - you are happy to get the gift but there is really no excitement or anticipation as to what is inside. You already know what you are getting.

You get a gift that is completely wrapped up - not only are you excited to get the gift, but you get to have those few minutes of anticipation, what is inside? And then opening it is so much fun!

I have not answered all my questions here as of yet. I do not know what this "modest style" God is calling me to will look like but I do know that I have a responsibility to God and my husband to dress in a way that honor them both!

Healing Begins (a song by Tenth Avenue North)

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So I was pregnant, just a few days ago, I had a tiny baby inside my tummy.  We called her Hazelnut.  We call all our babies by nut names before we know if they are boys or girls.  Peanut, Cashew, Pecan, Almond… Hazelnut seemed a little gangly for a little baby but really, we were running out of nut names and Brazil or macadamia seemed worse.  I called Keith in Hong Kong and told him he was going to be a daddy again.  I could practically see him smiling through the phone. 

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

We’re here now… now I am not pregnant.

This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Baby Hazelnut is gone.  She went without much fuss.  I use “she” because Keith & I decided that Hazelnut is kind of a girly sounding nut and since we will not know the whole boy or girl thing until we get to heaven, we will just think she was a girl.  It is our prerogative, after all.  I really am doing all right with the whole thing.  I truly have a peace about it.  I know that something was not right.  I know that God has plans and this precious life that never made it into my arms will do great things for His kingdom just as I pray all my other children will.  But every once and a while a sadness creeps up on me.  A sadness that lies deeper than baby Hazelnut. 

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

Today, in the silence of naptime the thought finally took shape.  I gave Him back one, He took back one.

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound

So there it is.  I do not have one child in heaven waiting to meet me.  I have two.  The one I wanted and the one that I gave back.  The one that came out of a nightmare that I could not keep.  They both wait for me.

When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now

I am here now.  I am truly at peace with Hazelnut going to be with Jesus and I anticipate that day when I will hold her for the first time.  I do not believe this is some sort of punishment.  That is not my God.  But the death of baby Hazelnut has brought to my heart the death of that other sweet baby.  That baby who never got a cute, nutty name.  That baby whose second pink line was not celebrated.  That baby is on my heart.

Oh This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

The light meets the dark… The light of the joy of baby Hazelnut meets the dark of that other baby.  This IS where the healing begins. Healing from the loss of baby Hazelnut but really healing from the loss of that other precious baby.  And that healing really starts in the form of forgiveness. 

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

His blood can cover us.  His blood DOES cover us.  We just have to accept it.  I am forgiven.  I just have to allow that forgiveness to settle into the deep recesses of my heart.  I must allow the light of forgiveness to fill those recesses.  The dark places that I kept hidden until baby Hazelnut came and then went back to heaven.  I need to know that other precious baby sits in heaven and sees my heart, knows where I was when I made that horrific decision and knows that I regret it every single day.  I need to know that baby Hazelnut and that other precious baby sit together now, along side our incredible Savior, waiting for when they can meet me face to face.

This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
Come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

This is WHERE the healing begins.  I can feel it seep through my heart, even as I type this.  I am not overwhelmed with sadness, I am saturated in peace.  I know there will be some days of tears ahead.  But it is the tears that make the good times taste even sweeter.  God is good and He is with me. 

My Itty Bitty is three

A day does not go by when I do not think "What if we would have stopped...?"  But birthdays are especially sweet to me!  I have written about this and include a link to that particular blog http://natashajoneslr.xanga.com/701485804/if-we-would-have-stopped/

Precious Kailyn turned three today!  What a sweet and wonderful child she is!  She is my tiny child (at about 50% on the growth chart so compared to her siblings, she is tiny).  She is soft spoken and delicate.  She is a little fairy.  But there is also another side to her!  She is passionate and strong willed.  She cries EVERY TIME she does not get her way.  She is fiery and tempestuous.  She is my only true snuggler.  The others like a snuggle here and there but Kailyn would be happy to sit in my lap all day long!  She wants me to carry her everywhere.  She could sleep through a train running through her room.  She prefers to put her shoes on the wrong feet.  Her favorite food is breakfast meat (sausage, bacon).  Her first words were "baby bear" for her lovey.  She is perpetually hurting herself (falling off playsets, bumping into thinks, falling into pools, I could go on).  Mercy and Elijah are her best friends but her big sister Evynn is her favorite playmate.  She dotes on her daddy.  She rides in the car quietly singing songs to herself.  She can recite John 3:16 and Luke 19:10 (which is her favorite).  She has me sing "Away in the Manger" to her every night.

I could go on and on.  She is an amazing girl.  I cannot wait to see the woman God has designed her to be and watch her become that!  God has blessed us with this little girl and I am grateful for every day that I get to spend with her and be her mommy!

Answered prayers

Several weeks ago, our pediatrician recommended that our almost 3 yr old get a speech evaluation.  I had been sensing there were some articulation issues for a while and several people who spend time with her had mentioned it to me.  To further confirm this need, Dr Byrum noticed it on his own while Kailyn was at the office for her younger sister's one year baby visit.  I had been planning on bringing it up, but he noticed the issue without my prompting.

Now I understand that there are people with children who have far greater challenges than this but Keith and I were facing some serious financial issues if Kailyn did need therapy.  We have a $10,000 deductible (yes, you read that right, there is NOT an extra "0" there).  We would have to pay for this all ourselves.  Then we found out that this insurance does not cover speech issues regardless, so the money we would be spending would not even count towards this amount. 

So in the middle of March, my husband started praying.  And that prayer was answered.  It took about six weeks to get the appointment scheduled and all the paperwork completed.  During that time, Kailyn's speech improved TREMENDOUSLY.   So much so that strangers can now understand her (unheard of prior to this).  Neighbors commented that they could not believe how much better she was talking.  In the short month and a half, my little girl went from a child who needed her mommy to interpret 90% of what she said (and there was a large portion I could not understand) to one who was easily understood by those she did not know.

The speech eval was this morning.  I told the therapist about my husband's prayer and the progress we had been seeing.  After the test, the therapist was amazed.  She said that Kailyn was VERY smart and was able to make sounds and do things that even her OWN five year old could not do!

Praise the Lord.  Not only did He answer our prayers, He did it in a big way!  I love Him and I love my husband for going before the Lord to pray boldly!!!!

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Little House on the Prairie...  the show, the books, the musical.  I love it all.  While getting my degree in history I focused most of my attention in 18th and 19th century American history.    So, as a stay at home mom, I often have moments where I  will think of Ma and what her life was like and realize my life is pretty cushy!  This morning was one of those moments.  Without trying to share TMI,  breakfast was wrapping up and three of us needed to use the bathroom.  I went up to our room, leaving Kailyn and Ryen at the table.  I giggle as B & E headed to the other two bathrooms, grateful that we had three bathrooms.  Then it hit me - what did Ma do with her little babies when she had to go to the bathroom?

Just the other day, I was at our church when several of us had to go to the bathroom - including myself.  I had Ryen but there was no stroller to put her in.  So I picked the least used restroom in our ginormous building and set her on the floor while I went.  What else was I supposed to do with her?  I would NEVER have done that at McDonald's but I happen to know our church is very clean.  Of course, when I did it another mom followed me into the bathroom and caught me leaving my one year old daughter on the floor!  Nice...

Anyway, what did Ma do when she needed to go potty?  I mean sure, the Ma of the TV show would just leave Mary or Laura in charge of baby Cary or Grace.  But what about the REAL Ma?  When Mary and Laura WERE the little babies?  Did she just carry them to the outhouse with her?  Moms of our generation joke and complain all the time about just wanting to pee by ourselves all the time but how did it work when there was no fancy indoor plumbing?

So this led my thinking a little deeper.  Anyone who has read the LHOTP books knows they are filled with the day to day doings of life.  These women were busy from the minute they woke up in the morning until they laid their heads down to sleep.  Each season was filled with the daily tasks of living,  getting ready for the next season, taking care of family....  They were busy ALL THE TIME and there was no zoloft!

These people were busy every minute of the day and I do not think their pastors were preaching about the dangers of "busyness".  There were not book stores filled with books on how to deal with the evils of a busy life.  There were not blogs upon blogs urging women to cut back on their crazy schedules.  They were busy because they had to be.  They were busy with surviving.  And I do not believe they were any less busy than we are today.  I do not have ANY stats to back this up - but I do believe that the depression that is rampant in our culture today is a relatively new phenomenon.    We hear about how "stressed" out everyone is from all they have to do and this causes depression. 

I look back at what life has been like throughout the world over through all of time and I just do not get it.  We are stressed out over getting our children to swim lessons and AWANA.  We are stressed out about having to go to two birthday parties in one day.  We are stressed out about making our yard look pretty.  Less than two hundred years ago, the busyness that filled people's lives had a purpose.  If you did not get the corn in at the right time, your family did not eat next winter.  If you did not get the wood cut, your family froze next winter.  They were busy doing things that MATTERED and I do believe that this makes a huge difference.  I suspect there is a sense of enormous satisfaction when you bring in the corn that will nourish your family for the next year.  It probably trumped any depression you felt in the pressure to get the corn planted in the first place.

I am NOT trying to make light of depression here.  I do think it is very serious and people who suffer from it need help.  I suffered from it deeply in my early 20s.  Nor am I trying to romanticize the lives of early Americans.  Life was hard and filled with disappointment, early deaths, hard labor.  But I think what I am feeling today is that we need to find a way to fill our lives with things that matter. 

Things that matter to life. 

Driving through McDonald's is an easy way to feed my family but it certainly does NOT give me the sense of accomplishment that I get when I MAKE them something healthy. 

I am not really sure where I am going with this except to say, life has ALWAYS been busy.  It just seems like today, we have filled our lives up with busyness that does not matter. 

At one point in my life, someone commented to me that I always seem tired.  There seemed to be some condemnation in that comment in regards to the life Keith and I have chosen to follow, having as many children as God would choose to bless us with.   I have thought of that often.  I am tired.  A LOT.  VERY TIRED.  But it is a good tired.  It is a GREAT tired.    Sometimes it is a cranky tired but I have noticed that it is usually the crankiest when I have chosen to fill my life with the business of things that do not matter in the matters of LIFE.   Going to this, doing that - focusing all my time, attention and energy on things that may be fun but have nothing to do with survival tend to drain me in a cranky way.  They are fun at the time, in small doses but a day (or days) filled with them drain me and make me cranky tired.  Doing for my family, cooking, cleaning, schooling - they may not be glamourus or as much fun - but there is a sense of satisfaction that leaves me feeling satisfied tired.  Does that make sense?

Let's be honest, God created us to work -
Genesis 1:27-29 says
Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
 ²⁷ So God created man in his own image,
       in the image of God he created him;
       male and female he created them.
 ²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
 ²⁹ Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰ And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.


We were created to work 6 days a week and rest 1 day.  In our era of convenience food, appliances and the internet we have mixed up what is work, what is life giving and what is fun.  I cannot tell you how many mothers I hear complaining about taking their children to this activity or that.  They are "tired, stressed out" from all they "have" to do.    We have taken the blessings of modern conveniences and turned them into the curse of having too much time.  We were made to work, so we are not satisfied sitting around doing nothing.  So what do we do with our time?  We fill it with stuff that gives us no sense of accomplishment and end up stressed and depressed.

I have no clever ending here.  These were just thoughts that have been in my head.  I just think that God clearly created us to work most of the time - do you think he knew that we would find that work to be the stuff of life giving satisfaction?  He created us to rest one day - do you think he knew that if we tired to fill our lives with too much "fun" that the fun would no longer be fun but would just create stress and dissatisfaction?