I smile. I tell them that it is not something we have control over nor something we WANT to have control over. For those who think that we could have control over it, let me say I have known more people who have gotten pregnant while using the pill (and all other types of chemical contraceptives), gotten pregnant while using the rhythm method, gotten pregnant after husband has vasectomy, gotten pregnant after tubes were tied... some of these cases are rare but they do happen. The anxiety that these people have felt upon seeing that double pink line is overwhelming. Here is the thing - we are never REALLY in control. No matter how much we want to believe it, it is not true. Keith and I have never felt anxiety after seeing the double pink line, just joy in knowing our family is growing according to God's plan.
Now, I will say, there IS one way to be sure that pregnancy does not happen - abstinence, and that way has been recommended to me lately as well. I should just tell my husband "NO!" Why? Seriously, why would I tell my husband no? Besides the fact that the Bible clearly tells both women AND men not to deny their spouses, I really like having sex with my husband! There, I said it. I know, I may have offended the two readers that actually look at this blog but the reality is, Keith and I have a good thing going and I am certainly NOT going to say "NO" because I am afraid of getting pregnant.
This comment really led me to think that perhaps people think that maybe this is all Keith's doing, he is just the "typical man" and he uses the Bible the guilt me into bed. And just knowing that someone might think this about my incredibly loving, Godly husband really IRKS me! We have sex because we like it, the fact that it is encouraged by the Bible just makes it even better! The fact that we can enjoy the marriage bed without the stress and worry of will or will we not get pregnant is an even bigger blessing!
Now that I have put aside the myth that I have been pregnant 6 times in the 8 years of our marriage and will give birth to our fifth child in a few weeks because Keith and the Bible have guilted me into it, let's go back to the control thing.
The main argument I hear about just letting our family grow according to God's plan is financial. I am not going to lie, money is an issue in many ways. Mostly because I am a poor steward of all that God's has blessed us with. Because I am a poor steward, it causes some stress but I am aware of this problem and am working on it. However, I am going to address a few of the issues people bring up!
- How will we pay for college for them all? We are not. College is a LONG way off and at this point, our goal is to give them a complete education and help them determine what path God has laid before them for their lives. This may or may not include college. We will help them as much as we possibly can as they head along the path God has called them. The truth is, even if we suddenly has unlimited resources, I would have SERIOUS hesitations before I just wrote a check and sent any of my children off to college. We really believe being responsible for the financial aspect of their education will call them up to being more appreciative of it. The four years of partying while mommy and daddy foot the bill attitude that is rampant among our nation's universities does not really inspire me.
- Each child REALLY should have their own room. Why? Because they want it? Well, here is the truth in life, we often do not get what we want and learning that early on is better than later. Sharing a room is not easy. I shared one for a long time. But sharing a room offers many benefits. Children learn to problem solve, share and work with others. It is a lot harder for parents when children share rooms but I do not believe our children will be damaged because they did not have their own room.
- How will you provide for them? As best we can with what God has given us. Kind of vague, I know, but truly comforting to me. Here are a few examples. My oldest daughter was in need of some specific things to complete her winter wardrobe. I did not make it to the big consignment sales and was getting ready to head to Target to get her some things when a friend called and said she had girl clothing that she was getting rid of. When she brought them by the house, they were exactly what we needed to complete Evynn's wardrobe. We have gotten ENORMOUS amounts of children's clothing from friends and even people we do not know. God is good! Another example is our recent stay in the hospital with Bowden. We have a $10,000 deductible for our insurance (high yes, but we are still grateful to even have insurance). Bowden's surgery and stay was very expensive and while we were at the hospital the financial counselors met with us and even though we do not qualify for any sort of medicaid or ARKids programs, they offered us a 40-50% discount. This was totally unexpected and to make it even better, they informed us that the discount will be applied to previous bills. Again, God providing in ways we did not expect. So I cannot say HOW God will provide, but I trust that He will. I could go on and on. I do trust if we are faithful than God will be faithful, just as He has promised.
