I only have one big thought on this one... I have spent a lot of time mourning over my lost naptime... the lost "me" time... Reading this proverb again ( I have read it a few times!!!) really just pricked my heart that if I want to be the wife God desires me to be, the mother God desires me to than it is my job to to take care of my family! The verse about rising up while it is still dark stuck out to me more than anything. I JUST want to SLEEP... but I also want to exercise and read God's word - both of which make me a better wife and mother. Here is the thing... I need to get up and take care of my family!!!
Before I read this, I really though "oh, I have read this before" not really expecting too much to jump out at me. But there it is... "Natasha, quit mourning over the lost "me" time. Stop being lazing. Get out of bed, get off the couch and do what needs to be done!!!! And do it well!!!"
Perhaps that last thought is what really screams out to me. I manage to get things done but I am not doing them as well as I can. if everything I do is supposed to be for God, I certainly am not honoring Him in a lot of ways lately!
Sorry that this is disjointed. I am just trying to get some thoughts on paper before I go do something!!!!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Deep into Proverbs and beyond
So at the beginning of this month my friend challenged me to read one chapter of Proverbs each day and reflect on it. This sounded like a good idea as I had been looking for a study to fill the time before my church study begins in September. I Just read chapter 27 and the first verse talked about not boasting about tomorrow because you do not know what it will hold for you. I have realized over the past week (starting with a very good message on pride at church on Sunday) that I have a serious pride issue. More serious than most. I was taking an enormous amount of pride in how humble I was. Some sort of irony there.
People would compliment me on my ability to handle a "large" family and I would point to God and say, "only through Him". People would compliment me on something I had written and I would say "the words come from Him"... I could go on and on. Sure it sounds good on paper. I was giving the praise to God and I knew in my heart that it was all due to Him but I was prideful in the fact that I was allowing Him to work in my life in such ways. I would look at other with judgment, thinking "You could do these things too if you would just ... trust Him... seek Him... ask Him...."
The best part of it all though, was that deep down I felt like a fraud. I did not really have it together. I was not being the mother I wanted to be or that God has called me to be.
I spend large amount of time thinking about my parenting. This is, after all, my job. I want to be the mother God has designed me to be. I was not coming close to being that mother, so upon going home after getting lavished with praise on my skills, and pointing everyone to the glory of God, I would sit in guilt as I spoke sharply, lost my temper and basically did everything I did not want to do as a mother!
So along comes Proverbs.... verse after verse convicted me. I was a fool holding onto God's word, teaching it to my children and then hardly coming close to living it out myself. I was afraid I was going to vaccinate my children against Christ and His love for us. I would give them just enough for them to think "Hey if this is what Christ did for my mom than NO THANKS!"
Monday was a rough day for me. I felt like the world was coming in around me and I did not know why. I decided to "unplug". I stopped playing on Facebook, I quit calling people to chat or complain. God wanted to talk to me but there was too much noise for me to hear Him.
Last night, Keith and I were getting ready for bed and we had a RIDICULOUS disagreement (which I will not go into here as it was so lame!!!) and this lead to me telling him how much I was hating the mother I was becoming. He and I had a very enlightening conversation. I will try to share some of it here....
(This is all from Keith)
We need to treat our children the way we would treat them if they were behaving the way we WANT them to behave. We need to be kind and gentle with them AT ALL times, even when they are being their very worst. (He got this from a rabbi that spoke at a marriage thing a few years ago who applied it to husbands and wives but it certainly goes here) This is, after all, how God treats us EVERY single day. He is always kind and gentle with us. He may be firm to get our attention but He is never harsh or short. And aren't we called to be like Christ?
Wow. This really struck me. This is going to be hard. It has been very hard today. It can only happen if I CHOOSE to seek God each moment of each day. It can only happen through Him.
And here is the real kicker in the whole thing... we cannot expect it the result in different behavior.
WHAT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? This is where I get caught up EVERY time. I am very result oriented. I had to be as an athlete and a college coach. If something did not work, you tried something different until you saw results. And at the end of every spring, when the season was over, you would see the result of the choices you made. Parenting DOES NOT work that way. Sometimes you can see result quickly but usually you are going to have to wait A LONG LONG LONG time to see if you made the right decisions.
This is going to be hard for me. I want to be the kind and gentle mother God has designed me to be, but I know, with a most humble heart, it is only going to happen with Him, in Him, through Him. Someone once asked me about how many children Keith & wanted and I told them that God uses each new child to break me in some new way, so I will take as many as it takes for Him to turn me into who He want me to be! We might catch up with the Duggers after all!!
I LOVE IT WHEN GOD SPEAKS TO ME! He always has something awesome to say!!!
People would compliment me on my ability to handle a "large" family and I would point to God and say, "only through Him". People would compliment me on something I had written and I would say "the words come from Him"... I could go on and on. Sure it sounds good on paper. I was giving the praise to God and I knew in my heart that it was all due to Him but I was prideful in the fact that I was allowing Him to work in my life in such ways. I would look at other with judgment, thinking "You could do these things too if you would just ... trust Him... seek Him... ask Him...."
The best part of it all though, was that deep down I felt like a fraud. I did not really have it together. I was not being the mother I wanted to be or that God has called me to be.
I spend large amount of time thinking about my parenting. This is, after all, my job. I want to be the mother God has designed me to be. I was not coming close to being that mother, so upon going home after getting lavished with praise on my skills, and pointing everyone to the glory of God, I would sit in guilt as I spoke sharply, lost my temper and basically did everything I did not want to do as a mother!
So along comes Proverbs.... verse after verse convicted me. I was a fool holding onto God's word, teaching it to my children and then hardly coming close to living it out myself. I was afraid I was going to vaccinate my children against Christ and His love for us. I would give them just enough for them to think "Hey if this is what Christ did for my mom than NO THANKS!"
Monday was a rough day for me. I felt like the world was coming in around me and I did not know why. I decided to "unplug". I stopped playing on Facebook, I quit calling people to chat or complain. God wanted to talk to me but there was too much noise for me to hear Him.
Last night, Keith and I were getting ready for bed and we had a RIDICULOUS disagreement (which I will not go into here as it was so lame!!!) and this lead to me telling him how much I was hating the mother I was becoming. He and I had a very enlightening conversation. I will try to share some of it here....
(This is all from Keith)
We need to treat our children the way we would treat them if they were behaving the way we WANT them to behave. We need to be kind and gentle with them AT ALL times, even when they are being their very worst. (He got this from a rabbi that spoke at a marriage thing a few years ago who applied it to husbands and wives but it certainly goes here) This is, after all, how God treats us EVERY single day. He is always kind and gentle with us. He may be firm to get our attention but He is never harsh or short. And aren't we called to be like Christ?
Wow. This really struck me. This is going to be hard. It has been very hard today. It can only happen if I CHOOSE to seek God each moment of each day. It can only happen through Him.
And here is the real kicker in the whole thing... we cannot expect it the result in different behavior.
WHAT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? This is where I get caught up EVERY time. I am very result oriented. I had to be as an athlete and a college coach. If something did not work, you tried something different until you saw results. And at the end of every spring, when the season was over, you would see the result of the choices you made. Parenting DOES NOT work that way. Sometimes you can see result quickly but usually you are going to have to wait A LONG LONG LONG time to see if you made the right decisions.
This is going to be hard for me. I want to be the kind and gentle mother God has designed me to be, but I know, with a most humble heart, it is only going to happen with Him, in Him, through Him. Someone once asked me about how many children Keith & wanted and I told them that God uses each new child to break me in some new way, so I will take as many as it takes for Him to turn me into who He want me to be! We might catch up with the Duggers after all!!
I LOVE IT WHEN GOD SPEAKS TO ME! He always has something awesome to say!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Proverbs 26
VS 7 - Like the legs of the lame that hang limp is the Proverbs in the mouth of fools....
VS 9 - Like a thorn that goes into the hand of drunkard is a proverb in the mouth of a fool...
These really struck me... as I try to raise my children to know the Lord, His word and His love, am I just a fool? Am I worthless because I am not living my life by these same proverbs? Am I just vaccinating my children against God's love because I am getting it all wrong?
Then VS 11 - As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly... Okay, I am this fool! I make the same mistake OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. When am I going to stop? When am I going to show self control? And putting that right up to a dog going back to his vomit? Ohhhhh, that is so gross! And I have seen dogs so this! It is disgusting! As I have watched I have commented on how stupid that dog was! Hello pot, you are black! God's word has pointed out that I AM THAT DOG!!!! A FOOL! Each time I do the same stupid thing!
And VS 23 - Fervent Lips with a wicked heart are like earthenware covered with silver dross... I feel like this right now. I can say all the right things, I can make things look really pretty on the outside but on the inside I am just struggling with the hypocrisy of my sins.
I am feeling a bit lost right now. I know that God is there right with me but I just can't seem to get it right. I start each morning with the intention to do things right, in a way that will honor God but sometimes i do not even make it out of bed before I fall back into the way i do not want to go.
I was on my face praying this morning (via Beth Moore) when the phrase "CHOOSE JOY" came to me. We have been focusing a lot on the Proverb 17:22 "A joyful heart is good medicine" lately and I have really been struggling with this. But then God just told this morning- Just choose it! When things are not going as you plan, when the children are acting out, you have two choices - get angry or get joyful... CHOOSE JOY. I need to stop, a hundred, no a thousand times a day and choose joy.
I m beginning to believe that most of MY issues come down to self-control. What am I choosing to do. Which leads me back to the proverb that I looked at today - I am a fool trying to teach my children about self-control when I myself cannot display it!
Praise God that He reveals Himself to us and then gives us what we need to move in His direction... and that God for His grace when we get stuck along the way!!!
VS 9 - Like a thorn that goes into the hand of drunkard is a proverb in the mouth of a fool...
These really struck me... as I try to raise my children to know the Lord, His word and His love, am I just a fool? Am I worthless because I am not living my life by these same proverbs? Am I just vaccinating my children against God's love because I am getting it all wrong?
Then VS 11 - As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly... Okay, I am this fool! I make the same mistake OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. When am I going to stop? When am I going to show self control? And putting that right up to a dog going back to his vomit? Ohhhhh, that is so gross! And I have seen dogs so this! It is disgusting! As I have watched I have commented on how stupid that dog was! Hello pot, you are black! God's word has pointed out that I AM THAT DOG!!!! A FOOL! Each time I do the same stupid thing!
And VS 23 - Fervent Lips with a wicked heart are like earthenware covered with silver dross... I feel like this right now. I can say all the right things, I can make things look really pretty on the outside but on the inside I am just struggling with the hypocrisy of my sins.
I am feeling a bit lost right now. I know that God is there right with me but I just can't seem to get it right. I start each morning with the intention to do things right, in a way that will honor God but sometimes i do not even make it out of bed before I fall back into the way i do not want to go.
I was on my face praying this morning (via Beth Moore) when the phrase "CHOOSE JOY" came to me. We have been focusing a lot on the Proverb 17:22 "A joyful heart is good medicine" lately and I have really been struggling with this. But then God just told this morning- Just choose it! When things are not going as you plan, when the children are acting out, you have two choices - get angry or get joyful... CHOOSE JOY. I need to stop, a hundred, no a thousand times a day and choose joy.
I m beginning to believe that most of MY issues come down to self-control. What am I choosing to do. Which leads me back to the proverb that I looked at today - I am a fool trying to teach my children about self-control when I myself cannot display it!
Praise God that He reveals Himself to us and then gives us what we need to move in His direction... and that God for His grace when we get stuck along the way!!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
God is trying to talk to me but I have been too busy to listen. I spend my days chasing my little ones, trying to have phone conversations with friends, and thinking of quippy status updates for Facebook. There is never any quiet to hear what He has to say. Often times I hear Him when I am writing, He really speaks to me through the words my fingers punch out. But I am so busy chattering all the time that I never get a moment to listen.
I am walking away from Facebook for a week. We will see what happens with that. I am going to be quiet. I am going to listen. I love when He wants to talk to me because He always has something important to say!!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
PROVERBS 19
VS 5 - A false witness will not go unpunished and he who speaks lies will not escape.... I was able to share this with Bowden who has been having a little bit of trouble with this the past couple of days, lying to get out of being in trouble. I have told him that it is always better to tell the truth than to lie and the punishments have shown that too
VS 11 - And his glory is to overlook a transgression... How many times am I so wuick to point out a flaw in another? How often do I overlook the log in my eye to point out the speck in another's?
VS 15 - Laziness casts one into a deep sleep... you know, I have noticed this, laziness begets laziness... the more I lay around and do nothing the more I want to lay around and do nothing.
VS 18 - Chasten your son while there is still hope... Another reminder to be on the ball with the discipline of my children
VS 22 What is desired of a man is kindness... a few years ago while doing a Beth Moore study God really pricked my heart about praying for kindness, He is pricking it again....
VS 11 - And his glory is to overlook a transgression... How many times am I so wuick to point out a flaw in another? How often do I overlook the log in my eye to point out the speck in another's?
VS 15 - Laziness casts one into a deep sleep... you know, I have noticed this, laziness begets laziness... the more I lay around and do nothing the more I want to lay around and do nothing.
VS 18 - Chasten your son while there is still hope... Another reminder to be on the ball with the discipline of my children
VS 22 What is desired of a man is kindness... a few years ago while doing a Beth Moore study God really pricked my heart about praying for kindness, He is pricking it again....
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Proverbs 18
VS 9 - He who is slothful in his works is a brother to him who is a great destroyer.... okay, being lazing and slothful never seems THAT bad to me, not that good but "brother to him who is a great destroyer"? That seems pretty bad. Again, I am drawn to the reality that God does not grade sins, one is just as bad as another.
VS 10 - The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.... How often do I take this for granted? I no longer take the Lord's name in vain as I did when I was younger, but I rarely think about the strength that is in the Lord's name, that calling upon the Lord, running to the Lord will protect me from evil.
VS 13 - He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and a shame to him... I do this a lot. I interrupt and jump to conclusions. I do not let my children finish what they are saying when they are in trouble. Again, this all goes back to patience, pride and focusing on my own agenda instead of God's.
VS 21 - Death and life are the power of the tongue.... this plays out in every area of my life, my marriage, my parenting, my friendships...
VS 10 - The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.... How often do I take this for granted? I no longer take the Lord's name in vain as I did when I was younger, but I rarely think about the strength that is in the Lord's name, that calling upon the Lord, running to the Lord will protect me from evil.
VS 13 - He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and a shame to him... I do this a lot. I interrupt and jump to conclusions. I do not let my children finish what they are saying when they are in trouble. Again, this all goes back to patience, pride and focusing on my own agenda instead of God's.
VS 21 - Death and life are the power of the tongue.... this plays out in every area of my life, my marriage, my parenting, my friendships...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Proverbs17 - yes I am still a day behind
VS 9 - He who covers a transgression seeks love but he who repeats a matter separates friends.... How many times have I shared a story that was embarrassing for someone else, or gossiped? How many times have I made fun of someone else trying to make myself feel better? Telling tales hurts EVERYONE
VS 14 - The beginning of strife is like the releasing of water... How true is this! There have been so many times that I have just opened the flood gates and then everything comes out... where if I would have just walked away there would have been no issue at all!
VS 17 - A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.... I LOVE this, especially when I think of my children and my desire and prayer that they would grow up to be best friends. But then when I think of my own sisters, I realize that my support of them has not been as strong. God is calling me to reach out to them and love them thru adversity.
VS 22 - I LOVE this verse, it is actually posted on our chalk board in the kitchen right now, only our version says a joyful heart is good medicine... Joy in all circumstance... still working on that goal...
VS 27 - He who has knowledge spares his words and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit... I LOVE this one too... first, I talk too much and I need to just shut up and listen. Second, I was just thinking this morning that if we really understood the enormity of heaven, the depths of hell, the awesomeness of His sacrifice for us, the well of His love for us... we would have a calm spirit because all of this here on earth would be put into perspective!
God is really calling me to this... to a deeper understanding of eternity and how this earth is so fleeting, that what seems to matter here really means nothing and to focus on Him and His purposes for my life. To put aside myself... I love how He weaves our lives together, knowing that I will be reading this verse today, knowing that Dena will speak a word to me, knowing that my thoughts will go down this road today and it will all come together... I LOVE HOW HE LOVES ME!
VS 14 - The beginning of strife is like the releasing of water... How true is this! There have been so many times that I have just opened the flood gates and then everything comes out... where if I would have just walked away there would have been no issue at all!
VS 17 - A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.... I LOVE this, especially when I think of my children and my desire and prayer that they would grow up to be best friends. But then when I think of my own sisters, I realize that my support of them has not been as strong. God is calling me to reach out to them and love them thru adversity.
VS 22 - I LOVE this verse, it is actually posted on our chalk board in the kitchen right now, only our version says a joyful heart is good medicine... Joy in all circumstance... still working on that goal...
VS 27 - He who has knowledge spares his words and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit... I LOVE this one too... first, I talk too much and I need to just shut up and listen. Second, I was just thinking this morning that if we really understood the enormity of heaven, the depths of hell, the awesomeness of His sacrifice for us, the well of His love for us... we would have a calm spirit because all of this here on earth would be put into perspective!
God is really calling me to this... to a deeper understanding of eternity and how this earth is so fleeting, that what seems to matter here really means nothing and to focus on Him and His purposes for my life. To put aside myself... I love how He weaves our lives together, knowing that I will be reading this verse today, knowing that Dena will speak a word to me, knowing that my thoughts will go down this road today and it will all come together... I LOVE HOW HE LOVES ME!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Proverbs 16
VS 1 Preparations of the heart belong to man but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.... So many times we come up with what we want and what we desire & we prepare our heart for that but then whether or not these things come to fruition is from the Lord... I want to put this along side VS 3 Commit your ways to the Lord and your thoughts will be established... are we truly seeking to do God's will? If we are seeking His will than our heart will coincide with His plans for us. We will find that we are not disappointed because we are seeking His will and our thoughts have been established in His will.
VS 18 & 19 Pride GOES before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall, better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud..... How many times have I argued with my husband and just KNOWN that I was right. The argument digresses to ugliness and I refuse to let go because my pride has taken hold. Eventually Keith will admit that I am right but there is no satisfaction in it, it was all too ugly. The spoils of the victory are not what I expected. I would have been better off to just humbly step away and agree with him. The division caused by the argument is not worth the victory.
Vs 24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.... I like how the word "bones" is used here, we are not talking surface level sweetness and health - this is DEEP healing. Often times when I see the word pleasant I thin of small talk and shallow interaction but here we see that it means so much more than that!
VS 25 There is a way that seems right to a man but its end is the way of death... God has given us His word for a reason, the way we are to go is clearly defined there and if we do not know His word, live in his word than we may think that doing certain things are fine. I have to immerse myself in God's word and then I will ALWAYS know the right way to go!
VS 18 & 19 Pride GOES before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall, better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud..... How many times have I argued with my husband and just KNOWN that I was right. The argument digresses to ugliness and I refuse to let go because my pride has taken hold. Eventually Keith will admit that I am right but there is no satisfaction in it, it was all too ugly. The spoils of the victory are not what I expected. I would have been better off to just humbly step away and agree with him. The division caused by the argument is not worth the victory.
Vs 24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.... I like how the word "bones" is used here, we are not talking surface level sweetness and health - this is DEEP healing. Often times when I see the word pleasant I thin of small talk and shallow interaction but here we see that it means so much more than that!
VS 25 There is a way that seems right to a man but its end is the way of death... God has given us His word for a reason, the way we are to go is clearly defined there and if we do not know His word, live in his word than we may think that doing certain things are fine. I have to immerse myself in God's word and then I will ALWAYS know the right way to go!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Proverbs 15
A little behind... Saturday got away from me!
Vs 1 - A soft word turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger... clearly this is something that I NEED to learn. I see so easily this in my children, when they immediately go to histrionics to get something, I get angry but I never seem to be able to control this same reaction in myself. God is making it clear that I will get firther with my children if I speak softly!
VS 3 - The eyes of the Lord are everywhere... I like knowing He sees everything. I think sometimes I feel like I am doing ggod and I want SOMEONE, ANYONE to notice and I need to just sit back and rest in the knowledge that the only one that matters see all that I do - for good and bad!
VS 4 - The wholesome tongue is the tree of life ... The things I say can bring life to my marriage, to my children, to my friendships and even to people I do not know. I need to be MUCH more aware of the things I say and whether they bring life or death.
VS 5 & 10 - A fool despises his father's instruction but he who recieves correction is prudent; harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way, and he who hates correction will die..... It is important that we instruct & correct our children, pointing them towards God. I liked the word "harsh" here because sometimes I get caught up in not wanting to be too hard on my children but here it clearly states that discipline is not supposed to be easy. There is be some "hurt" in it... missing out on the movie, not getting to go play with friends, losing that favorite toy for several days.... it needs to hurt so that they will learn to obey!
Vs 13 & 15 both talk about having a merry heart.... I WANT to have a merry heart, I want to be filled with joy and have a cheerful countenance! God promises and continual feast to those with a merry heart! Please, Lord help me to get here on this!!!
I will try and get 16 & 17 tomorrow so I be caught up! God is good and I am so excited that my friend challenged me to this study! I am really seeing so many areas that I need to grow in. Several weeks ago I prayed that God would reveal hypocrisy in my heart to me, that we would open up areas of weakness to me and boy is this study doing just that! I love the growth!
Vs 1 - A soft word turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger... clearly this is something that I NEED to learn. I see so easily this in my children, when they immediately go to histrionics to get something, I get angry but I never seem to be able to control this same reaction in myself. God is making it clear that I will get firther with my children if I speak softly!
VS 3 - The eyes of the Lord are everywhere... I like knowing He sees everything. I think sometimes I feel like I am doing ggod and I want SOMEONE, ANYONE to notice and I need to just sit back and rest in the knowledge that the only one that matters see all that I do - for good and bad!
VS 4 - The wholesome tongue is the tree of life ... The things I say can bring life to my marriage, to my children, to my friendships and even to people I do not know. I need to be MUCH more aware of the things I say and whether they bring life or death.
VS 5 & 10 - A fool despises his father's instruction but he who recieves correction is prudent; harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way, and he who hates correction will die..... It is important that we instruct & correct our children, pointing them towards God. I liked the word "harsh" here because sometimes I get caught up in not wanting to be too hard on my children but here it clearly states that discipline is not supposed to be easy. There is be some "hurt" in it... missing out on the movie, not getting to go play with friends, losing that favorite toy for several days.... it needs to hurt so that they will learn to obey!
Vs 13 & 15 both talk about having a merry heart.... I WANT to have a merry heart, I want to be filled with joy and have a cheerful countenance! God promises and continual feast to those with a merry heart! Please, Lord help me to get here on this!!!
I will try and get 16 & 17 tomorrow so I be caught up! God is good and I am so excited that my friend challenged me to this study! I am really seeing so many areas that I need to grow in. Several weeks ago I prayed that God would reveal hypocrisy in my heart to me, that we would open up areas of weakness to me and boy is this study doing just that! I love the growth!
Friday, August 14, 2009
So, I have homeschooled for a week now.... It has been very interesting. Our goal this week was to do school three days, working on writing his name and doing some math work. We have just wanted to get into a routine and see how it was going to go. We will add our phonics program next week; add a fourth day of school in September (and start going into more depth with things) along with Thursdays at Home School Academy.
It has been a good week. The girls have done a good job of entertaining themselves. It seems like as long as they know that they will have "school" after Bowden is done, they are contented to play together.
Teaching a child to write is VERY difficult. If I have to say, "Bowden hold the pencil the proper way" one more time I may kill myself. At one point I could tell he and I were both about to lose it so I said "Let's go run around the house and have fun for a minute!" That eased the stress and we started right back at it.
My journey to this point has been a long one, which involved my poor friends listening to me moan about school for about four years (I am so sorry D & J) and now that I have begun, it seems sort of anticlimactic. We just woke up one morning and started doing school!
My focus is to make things as simple as possible. I think we, homeschooling moms (and remember I have only been one of these for five days!) tend to make things more difficult than they need to be. Perhaps we are trying to ensure our children will not "lose out" or we are just certain that we are just not good enough to educate our children.... I know these thoughts have been in my mind ever since we decided this was the way to go. But here is the thing, God has called me to this. I know this as surely as I know He called me to marry my husband and He called me to trust Him with the size of my family. He has called me to this and He is faithful. He will make sure that - as long as I am seeking Him - my children will get the education they need to accomplish the goals God has for them. This homeschooling thing is not about me, nor is it even about my children, it is about obedience to God and what He has called me to and it is about my children becoming the men and women God designed them to be - fulfilling the purpose He has set before them.
So, one week down... many ...many ... many left to go.... I am excited to see all that God is going to do here in our home!
PROVERBS 14 - August 14, 2009
VS 1 – A wise woman build’s her house. This is speaking very loudly to me right now. I have struggled my WHOLE life with money and finances. I am wisely striving to build my children’s faith by teaching them about God and salvation however, I am pulling down my house with my own hands every time I make foolish decisions about money.
VS 11 – The house of the wicked… the tent of the upright…. I loved that it was a house that was blown down and a tent that stands strong. So opposite of what we think it should be. All the things we put store in here on earth mean little in God’s kingdom.
VS 12 – There is a way that SEEMS right… so often we can be fooled by what seems right to us, we do not seek truth in God’s word, we just go by what “seems” right and then we are shocked when it leads to bad things.
VS 16 – The wise man fears and departs evil… a fool rages and is self-confident. I think of this a lot when I think about how many of us Christians are concerning entertainment. We watch movies that are clearly void of ANY moral values and we think “It’s okay, I know this stuff is bad, it will not bother me.” We are arrogant and believe that we can hold fast to our beliefs while filling our minds with garbage.
VS 25 – A true witness delivers souls… how powerful id this! Are we being true witnesses? Do we give the glory to God all the time or do we shrink back when we are around nonbelievers? Are we transparent with our struggles or do we put on a front that everything is always great with us? The only way we can allow people to see the great work God is doing in us is if we are not afraid to let people see how much work NEEDS to be done in us….
VS 29 He who is slow to wrath has great understanding but he who is impulsive exalts folly. Wow, I exalt folly every day… this goes along with all God is telling me about my temper and how I deal with my little ones!
VS 1 – A wise woman build’s her house. This is speaking very loudly to me right now. I have struggled my WHOLE life with money and finances. I am wisely striving to build my children’s faith by teaching them about God and salvation however, I am pulling down my house with my own hands every time I make foolish decisions about money.
VS 11 – The house of the wicked… the tent of the upright…. I loved that it was a house that was blown down and a tent that stands strong. So opposite of what we think it should be. All the things we put store in here on earth mean little in God’s kingdom.
VS 12 – There is a way that SEEMS right… so often we can be fooled by what seems right to us, we do not seek truth in God’s word, we just go by what “seems” right and then we are shocked when it leads to bad things.
VS 16 – The wise man fears and departs evil… a fool rages and is self-confident. I think of this a lot when I think about how many of us Christians are concerning entertainment. We watch movies that are clearly void of ANY moral values and we think “It’s okay, I know this stuff is bad, it will not bother me.” We are arrogant and believe that we can hold fast to our beliefs while filling our minds with garbage.
VS 25 – A true witness delivers souls… how powerful id this! Are we being true witnesses? Do we give the glory to God all the time or do we shrink back when we are around nonbelievers? Are we transparent with our struggles or do we put on a front that everything is always great with us? The only way we can allow people to see the great work God is doing in us is if we are not afraid to let people see how much work NEEDS to be done in us….
VS 29 He who is slow to wrath has great understanding but he who is impulsive exalts folly. Wow, I exalt folly every day… this goes along with all God is telling me about my temper and how I deal with my little ones!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Proverbs 13, August 13, 2009
Again, I found a lot of this Proverb speaking to me. There is a lot of wisdom regarding the words from one’s mouth. God has strong warnings for those who lie and those who prattle on at the mouth. I think there is a lot I can learn from here. Sometimes we get ourselves into trouble because we say too much. Perhaps saying less is a good way to keep ourselves from saying too much and finding ourselves feeling the “need” to lie about some seemingly insignificant something. Iften times I think that God really only hates those BIG,FAT UGLY lies but really, any subtle stretching of the truth is offensive and a sin.
Vs 21, Evil pursues sinners. We are ALL sinners and evil is pursuing us. The warnings and sins in this chapter are for ALL of us believers. We may think that we would never lie or be lazy but the reality is that evil is coming after us, hoping to find a crack and work his way into our lives!
Vs 24 really sticks out with me right now. AS I have been mentioning, I struggle with speaking sharply to my little ones and being short on patience and I feel fairly certain that a lot of it is due to my own making. I am slow to discipline my children, sometimes because I want to give them a second chance but many times because I am too lazy to deal with whatever is happening. Apparently I am hoping that my 5, 3 & 2 year old have enough sense to stop doing something just because I told them to… Of course, I do not have that common sense so I am not sure why I expect them to have it! God is telling me to stop doing things all the time and I never listen! So here is this verse, saying I HATE MY CHILDREN? Okay, I do not… I LOVE them, with all my heart. God is calling me to get off my tooshie and discipline my children… Why do I get frustrated? Because they rarely obey the first time… but I rarely make them obey immediately and then I get mad at them??? Not very fair of me. God is really speaking to me here and I know that if I really love my children as I profess to, I will start teaching them to obey me the first time…
Again, I found a lot of this Proverb speaking to me. There is a lot of wisdom regarding the words from one’s mouth. God has strong warnings for those who lie and those who prattle on at the mouth. I think there is a lot I can learn from here. Sometimes we get ourselves into trouble because we say too much. Perhaps saying less is a good way to keep ourselves from saying too much and finding ourselves feeling the “need” to lie about some seemingly insignificant something. Iften times I think that God really only hates those BIG,FAT UGLY lies but really, any subtle stretching of the truth is offensive and a sin.
Vs 21, Evil pursues sinners. We are ALL sinners and evil is pursuing us. The warnings and sins in this chapter are for ALL of us believers. We may think that we would never lie or be lazy but the reality is that evil is coming after us, hoping to find a crack and work his way into our lives!
Vs 24 really sticks out with me right now. AS I have been mentioning, I struggle with speaking sharply to my little ones and being short on patience and I feel fairly certain that a lot of it is due to my own making. I am slow to discipline my children, sometimes because I want to give them a second chance but many times because I am too lazy to deal with whatever is happening. Apparently I am hoping that my 5, 3 & 2 year old have enough sense to stop doing something just because I told them to… Of course, I do not have that common sense so I am not sure why I expect them to have it! God is telling me to stop doing things all the time and I never listen! So here is this verse, saying I HATE MY CHILDREN? Okay, I do not… I LOVE them, with all my heart. God is calling me to get off my tooshie and discipline my children… Why do I get frustrated? Because they rarely obey the first time… but I rarely make them obey immediately and then I get mad at them??? Not very fair of me. God is really speaking to me here and I know that if I really love my children as I profess to, I will start teaching them to obey me the first time…
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Proverbs 12 – August 12, 2009
There was a bit in this chapter about the tongue and what we say and again this sticks out to me. I fear this will a struggle for me all my days. My short temper leads me to speak before I think. I will say that I am stopping myself quicker, praying more and turning down a different path more often but I would like to get to the point where a harsh response is not my first response! Vs. 18 There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword but the tongue of the wise promotes health!
Perhaps what really stood out to was the words on laziness and diligence. Vs 27 The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting but diligence is man’s most precious possession. I think I am perhaps one of the laziest people I know. I just want to sit and do nothing all the time. I use the excuse of being tired and having four children but the reality is, I just want to sit and read or watch TV. God was really speaking to me. There is nothing wrong with resting when I am tired but I need to recognize when I am truly tired, needing a break and when I am just being lazing. This, second only to my harsh tongue, is something God has really been convicting me of lately!
There was a bit in this chapter about the tongue and what we say and again this sticks out to me. I fear this will a struggle for me all my days. My short temper leads me to speak before I think. I will say that I am stopping myself quicker, praying more and turning down a different path more often but I would like to get to the point where a harsh response is not my first response! Vs. 18 There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword but the tongue of the wise promotes health!
Perhaps what really stood out to was the words on laziness and diligence. Vs 27 The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting but diligence is man’s most precious possession. I think I am perhaps one of the laziest people I know. I just want to sit and do nothing all the time. I use the excuse of being tired and having four children but the reality is, I just want to sit and read or watch TV. God was really speaking to me. There is nothing wrong with resting when I am tired but I need to recognize when I am truly tired, needing a break and when I am just being lazing. This, second only to my harsh tongue, is something God has really been convicting me of lately!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Proverbs 11
Proverbs 11 – August 11, 2009
Proverbs are hard because there is so much on one chapter.
Verse 2 – When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom. Much of the trouble I have in my life is due to pride. I believe that I am right, that my agenda is more important, that it is my way or the highway. With these thoughts backing up my actions, I tend to get short tempered and irritable. My words become harsh and not long after I experience enormous shame for having acted unlovingly. Humbleness, realizing that I do NOT always know what is best is what shows true wisdom.
Vs 11 – By the blessing of the upright the city is exalted, but it is overthrown by the mouth of the wicked. Just one person, saying evil things can destroy something good.
Vs14 – Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. I feel so blessed to have a good number of Godly people in my life to give guidance and counsel. God’s word is very clear on this. Our decision to homeschool has been bolstered and supported by the men and women God raised up in our lives in this area!
Vs 24 – 25 really spoke to me as well. There is one who scatters, yet increases more; and there is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty…. So many times we want to hold on to things, whether it is our time, our money, our resources or our hearts – trying to protect ourselves but really we are only going to whither and die. Giving ourselves away is the only way to truly grow and experience the true blessings of God. So many times, I want to hold part of myself back – keep just a little bit back for myself . It is like I am afraid that if I give too much of myself then I will lose myself and that will be a bad thing. But really, if I would just empty myself of EVERYTHING then God would be able to fill me in a way that I cannot imagine. Then I can tie this all back to the pride thing…. I believe that the way I am is good, there is some streak of independent spirit that cannot believe that whatever God will fill me with is better… I DO NOT TRUST HIM. I am like a dog, chewing on an old bone whose master has a filet mignon held out to me – I see that juicy steak but I cannot trust that the steak is better, I cannot trust that he will really give me the steak, so I just continue to gnaw on the nasty old bone because at least I know it and it is comfortable. Hummm, I just need to give that bone to someone else in need and trust that my Master has so much more for me….
Monday, August 10, 2009
I am reading Proverbs each day at a friend's urging. I am typing up a word doc ti keep track of my thoughts and I thought I would post them here as well. These are my random thoughts and ideas, so just be warned if you choose to read them,,,,
Proverbs 10 – August 10, 2009
One of the main things that keeps popping out to me are that they things we say play a huge role in who we are.
The mouth of the righteous is the a well of life (11) We can speak life into our children’s lives, into other people’s lives but what we say. But the next verse says that violence covers the mouth of the wicked – we can destroy by what we say. This has been something that has been on my heart a lot lately. Verse 19 - he who restrains his lips is wise, verse 31 - the mouth of the righteous brings wisdom… all these stand out to me. I have really struggled with what and how I say things to my children lately. My tone is harsh, my words are harsh and I am certainly not being a well of life!
Just this morning I was talking with Bowden about Psalm 19:14 – may the words of my mouth be pleasing to God. I was telling him that if the things he is saying are not honoring God and bringing glory to His kingdom than he should not say them. And yet all I am really saying is “hello pot, I am kettle and YOU are black!”
Often times, as a mother, the things I am saying have to be said, but my words (in the way they are being said) are NOT a well of life. I see the looks in their eyes and know that I am being harsh. God clearly outlines in this chapter, what the results of my poor choice of tone and reaction will be…. Sorrow and loss.
Verse 32 says that the lips of the righteous know what is acceptable – I do know what is acceptable and yet I am struggling following through.
But relief also comes in the same chapter, verse 29 says that the way of the Lord is strength for the upright…. God will give me the strength to become the mother He wants me to be. Each day I become more and more aware of these things. He provides avenues to better myself! In fact, the reason I am reading Proverbs 10 today is because I friend challenged me to it on a blog… read through Proverbs, one a day, starting on the date that coincides with the proverb…. So here I am, God giving me all kinds of words about how my words affect my life! I LOVE God and I LOVE how He always finds us right where we are!
Proverbs 10 – August 10, 2009
One of the main things that keeps popping out to me are that they things we say play a huge role in who we are.
The mouth of the righteous is the a well of life (11) We can speak life into our children’s lives, into other people’s lives but what we say. But the next verse says that violence covers the mouth of the wicked – we can destroy by what we say. This has been something that has been on my heart a lot lately. Verse 19 - he who restrains his lips is wise, verse 31 - the mouth of the righteous brings wisdom… all these stand out to me. I have really struggled with what and how I say things to my children lately. My tone is harsh, my words are harsh and I am certainly not being a well of life!
Just this morning I was talking with Bowden about Psalm 19:14 – may the words of my mouth be pleasing to God. I was telling him that if the things he is saying are not honoring God and bringing glory to His kingdom than he should not say them. And yet all I am really saying is “hello pot, I am kettle and YOU are black!”
Often times, as a mother, the things I am saying have to be said, but my words (in the way they are being said) are NOT a well of life. I see the looks in their eyes and know that I am being harsh. God clearly outlines in this chapter, what the results of my poor choice of tone and reaction will be…. Sorrow and loss.
Verse 32 says that the lips of the righteous know what is acceptable – I do know what is acceptable and yet I am struggling following through.
But relief also comes in the same chapter, verse 29 says that the way of the Lord is strength for the upright…. God will give me the strength to become the mother He wants me to be. Each day I become more and more aware of these things. He provides avenues to better myself! In fact, the reason I am reading Proverbs 10 today is because I friend challenged me to it on a blog… read through Proverbs, one a day, starting on the date that coincides with the proverb…. So here I am, God giving me all kinds of words about how my words affect my life! I LOVE God and I LOVE how He always finds us right where we are!
Homeschooling begins
If you had told me five years ago I would be homeschooling Bowden I would have laughed in your face. Oh, I was concerned about my newborn's future schooling but my concerns were based on how we were going to move to get into a good school zone. But a short five years later, I not only started Bowden's first day of kindergarten but I am fully committed to homeschooling and believe in my heart it truly is the best way to educate children! Wow! God certainly has changed my heart. I could write a whole blog on how that happened and maybe I will but right now my time is short as the house is a mess, dinner needs to be made, I have pitching lessons tonight, I want to read some of my Bible, I need to plan for tomorrow, I need to cut coupons for the Grocery Game... and I only have 2 hours (or less) until Ryen wants to eat again!!!
So, our first day.... I was feeling stress but the little ones were just being themselves and it could not have gone ANY BETTER! My plan was to eat breakfast, do our devotional at the table as we finished up, spend 30 -40 minutes with Bowden while the girls played together, then spend a bit of time with each girl while the others played together. My fear was that the girls would not allow Bowden and I to get anything done. My fear was unfounded. They played together happily, knowing that they would get their turn next. I was actually able to do about an hour of stuff with Bowden because they were doing so well. I decided to add the time today as I know in the future the girls may not be so compliant and we may have to stop early.
Strangely enough, when we switched to Evynn and Kailyn, Bowden struggled playing on his own. Keith suggested I put Bowden on the computer for that time to work on one of the phonics websites he is doing. Evynn has a little activity book that we did two pages in and then the three of us colored for a while. It is more about the attention than anything.
We finished up school by playing with the clay that Bowden got for his birthday.
Some thoughts on the first day...
Regardless of how the day goes, I have to have a joyful spirit. Tomorrow may not be as smooth but I cannot get frustrated.
Even though I have shown Bowden how to write the letter "e" I cannot expect him to do it right immediately!
Seeing the joy in his eyes when he writes a "w" on his own makes it all worth while. I just want him to love learning!
It is a long road and I have to pace myself!!!!
So, our first day.... I was feeling stress but the little ones were just being themselves and it could not have gone ANY BETTER! My plan was to eat breakfast, do our devotional at the table as we finished up, spend 30 -40 minutes with Bowden while the girls played together, then spend a bit of time with each girl while the others played together. My fear was that the girls would not allow Bowden and I to get anything done. My fear was unfounded. They played together happily, knowing that they would get their turn next. I was actually able to do about an hour of stuff with Bowden because they were doing so well. I decided to add the time today as I know in the future the girls may not be so compliant and we may have to stop early.
Strangely enough, when we switched to Evynn and Kailyn, Bowden struggled playing on his own. Keith suggested I put Bowden on the computer for that time to work on one of the phonics websites he is doing. Evynn has a little activity book that we did two pages in and then the three of us colored for a while. It is more about the attention than anything.
We finished up school by playing with the clay that Bowden got for his birthday.
Some thoughts on the first day...
Regardless of how the day goes, I have to have a joyful spirit. Tomorrow may not be as smooth but I cannot get frustrated.
Even though I have shown Bowden how to write the letter "e" I cannot expect him to do it right immediately!
Seeing the joy in his eyes when he writes a "w" on his own makes it all worth while. I just want him to love learning!
It is a long road and I have to pace myself!!!!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thoughts on vacation
So these are some random thoughts and events from our recent vacation to Jacksonville, Fl to visit Keith's family & go to his 20 year reunion.....
The Beach -
Great when you are staying at the beach, sucks when you have to cart everything a family of six will need for several hours, it all get covered with sand, the car gets covered with sand & your two year old decided upon first seeing the ocean that it is WAY too scary and sits with her back to it the entire time. Bowden and Evynn loved it though. Bowden a little too much, scared mommy several times!!!
The Trip -
- Driving at night (like we did there) is WAY better. Even though they little ones did not sleep the whole time, the baby did and we were not stopping to feed her the entire trip. Plus there is A LOT less traffic. It took us 14 hours. 16 1/2 hours to get home (but take out an hour because we stopped in Tallahassee and dorked around FSU's campus for a bit!)
- NEVER eat at a McDonald's across from a college campus on a Sunday morning... it was the DIRTIEST place I have EVER been in. Apparently all the drunks were there the night before....
- Sign outside a gas station/7-11: "No beer sold between 2am & 6am"
- FSU gives a degree in "Circus". I am not sure what this entails but they have their own permanent big top on campus. Not sure what this says about my husband's undergrad degree... or the Master's he is working on right now....
- Always stop at a place with a play land if you have small children and a baby who needs to nurse. Forcing your children to sit and wait while baby eats when there are no toys and they have been strapped in the car for 12 hours is not good for ANYONE!
-Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays, which I think is great except when my family is traveling on a Sunday and we are trying to follow the above mentioned advice and tired of McDonald's
-The McDonald's in Greysville, AL has the BEST play land EVER!!!!
- babies who may never poop out of their diapers will ALWAYS do it on long road trips, and they will do it one time more than however many extra outfits you pack.
- I wish all the Scriptures filling the sings on the roads would reflect more about God's love and less about his judgment.
-If we ever make a trip like this in a 12 passenger van we will stick the older children as far back as we can so when they will not stop talking for 6 straight hours we will not hear them!
-Evynn spent six hours asking us if it was raining, if it is stopped raining, why was it raining, what do windshield wipers do, why did Mufasa die, is the black lion mean, why are the Hyenas mean, is that Simba, can you get my pink pig, can I have a drink, I need to go potty, is Ariel a mermaid, why is Triton mad, where is Dora going, why is there a cow over there, is that a horse... then she spent the last 30 minutes SCREAMING... can you guess who would get to ride in the back of the 12 passenger?
- Kailyn was riding in the back yelling at her bitty baby doll to wake up... when it lays down her eyes close
- I LOVE the way the fog hangs lowly all over the fields in the early evening and early morning. Beautiful. It makes me wonder what this country was like 250 years ago when people were crossing it in wagons...
- NEVER plan a 10 day vacation to start the day after your mother has spent a week visiting. Both things are good, but our lives have been without routine and order for TOO LONG!!!
We had a good time. It was fun to see family. I was happy to get home. We are ready for normal again! I will post pics tomorrow!
-
The Beach -
Great when you are staying at the beach, sucks when you have to cart everything a family of six will need for several hours, it all get covered with sand, the car gets covered with sand & your two year old decided upon first seeing the ocean that it is WAY too scary and sits with her back to it the entire time. Bowden and Evynn loved it though. Bowden a little too much, scared mommy several times!!!
The Trip -
- Driving at night (like we did there) is WAY better. Even though they little ones did not sleep the whole time, the baby did and we were not stopping to feed her the entire trip. Plus there is A LOT less traffic. It took us 14 hours. 16 1/2 hours to get home (but take out an hour because we stopped in Tallahassee and dorked around FSU's campus for a bit!)
- NEVER eat at a McDonald's across from a college campus on a Sunday morning... it was the DIRTIEST place I have EVER been in. Apparently all the drunks were there the night before....
- Sign outside a gas station/7-11: "No beer sold between 2am & 6am"
- FSU gives a degree in "Circus". I am not sure what this entails but they have their own permanent big top on campus. Not sure what this says about my husband's undergrad degree... or the Master's he is working on right now....
- Always stop at a place with a play land if you have small children and a baby who needs to nurse. Forcing your children to sit and wait while baby eats when there are no toys and they have been strapped in the car for 12 hours is not good for ANYONE!
-Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays, which I think is great except when my family is traveling on a Sunday and we are trying to follow the above mentioned advice and tired of McDonald's
-The McDonald's in Greysville, AL has the BEST play land EVER!!!!
- babies who may never poop out of their diapers will ALWAYS do it on long road trips, and they will do it one time more than however many extra outfits you pack.
- I wish all the Scriptures filling the sings on the roads would reflect more about God's love and less about his judgment.
-If we ever make a trip like this in a 12 passenger van we will stick the older children as far back as we can so when they will not stop talking for 6 straight hours we will not hear them!
-Evynn spent six hours asking us if it was raining, if it is stopped raining, why was it raining, what do windshield wipers do, why did Mufasa die, is the black lion mean, why are the Hyenas mean, is that Simba, can you get my pink pig, can I have a drink, I need to go potty, is Ariel a mermaid, why is Triton mad, where is Dora going, why is there a cow over there, is that a horse... then she spent the last 30 minutes SCREAMING... can you guess who would get to ride in the back of the 12 passenger?
- Kailyn was riding in the back yelling at her bitty baby doll to wake up... when it lays down her eyes close
- I LOVE the way the fog hangs lowly all over the fields in the early evening and early morning. Beautiful. It makes me wonder what this country was like 250 years ago when people were crossing it in wagons...
- NEVER plan a 10 day vacation to start the day after your mother has spent a week visiting. Both things are good, but our lives have been without routine and order for TOO LONG!!!
We had a good time. It was fun to see family. I was happy to get home. We are ready for normal again! I will post pics tomorrow!
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