My family traveled up to Rogers, AR over the Independence Day holiday this year.  Keith and I decided to attend a church planted by our church on Sunday morning.  After depositing the children in their respective classes, we settled in to worship and hear the message.  It was on John 8: 1-11... Jesus and the adulteress woman.  It was a good message.  But there was nothing screaming out to me - no life changing take away.  We enjoyed visiting the church and had a nice visit with my sister and her husband.

Flash forward one week.  We are sitting in our own church, our children have been dropped off in their respective classes and I look down to see what the message will be about... to my surprise it is John 8: 1-11.  REALLY?  Now the church in NWA was doing a series on the Book of John, our church has been doing a series on the sayings and conversations of Jesus.  The chances of these two churches preaching on the same message, on back to back weekends, when we would be attending both churches is pretty slim.  Now, I always get chills when it is so clear and obvious that God has a particularly specific message for us but I just could not figure this out.  I did not see myself sliding into this particular woman's sin.  We sat a listened to the message and still I did not see it.  Why, dear Lord, why, have we heard this passage preached to us two weeks in a row.

I prayed about it for another day before it came clear.  The final line in the story - the last words of Jesus to this woman who was almost stoned to death.  "Go, and sin no more"

Now some of the background I have heard on this particular passage was that, from the language, they can ascertain that this woman was not a one time offender.  She was in the habit of committing adultery.  It was her way of life.  A habit she could not break?  An addiction?  So, after saving her life, Jesus say "Go, and sin no more."

He does not say "Go, and try to do better."

Or "Go, and do the best you can."

Or "Go, and don't worry about it if you sin again, I will be here to save you next time."

He said "Go and sin no more"  SIN NO MORE.

She looked Him in the eyes & recognized Him as Savior.  He forgave her and commanded her to stop it. 

How many times do we decide to walk away from a sin and then after some time we find ourselves neck deep in it again, drowning in guilt that we have failed once more.  This is NOT the life Jesus desires for us.  He believes that we can walk FREE FROM SIN.  If He did not believe that this woman could break free from her sin, He would not have said those words to her.  He would have encouraged her with those other phrases.  But the man who came to die for her, to die for us, knew that through Him, she/we could indeed live the abundant life here and now free from sin.

So, THAT is what it took me two weekends in a row to figure out.  Not only am I forgiven from the sins I commit but through Christ, I have to power to walk away from the sins in my life that drag me down and stifle me with guilt! 

"God is just as able to sanctify as He is to redeem us"
Stepping Heavenward

Let's not just live in the redemption but also in the joy of sanctification!

Quitting

I am quitting.  Giving up.  Failing.  These are hard things for me to type.  These are hard things for me to admit to myself.  But I am.  As of about an hour and a half ago I will no longer be trying to potty train my 3 year old.  I know, I can feel the judgment as you read this.  Other mothers are looking at me thinking - "what is WRONG with you?  You can't potty train your little girl?  Girls are the easiest!  Loser".  I am saying these things to myself.  I am crying as I type this.  But I know that it is the right thing.  The right thing for me and more importantly the right thing for my daughter.

A year ago, I thought I had it going on.  I was a prideful potty trainer.  My boy was the easiest of easy to potty train.  It took very little time or mental energy.  Man, I am good!  Evynn rolled around and we had some issues during the night with #2 but even that did not bother me so much because it was always in a pull up and easy to deal with.  Strangely enough that cleared up completely right as Ryen was born.  So for about six months we were zipping along with very few accidents and two children who went when they needed to go, who went when I told them to go.  Man, I am good!  I should offer a class!  I could charge people for this!  What is wrong with those people who struggle with this?

The haughty looks of man shall be brought low,and the lofty pride of men shall be humbled,and the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.
Isaiah 2:11

 I was prideful.   I will not deny it.  And I have been humbled.  HUMBLED.  Around the beginning of December I decided to tackle child number 3.  She was 2 1/2.  The same age as my other success stories.  She is smart and has a willing spirit.  How hard could it be?  Oh, if I had only known.  


It is now July and she had three accidents in the course of two hours just this morning.  One of them was pretty big.  I took her to the bathroom 2 times in that same period.    I will not bore you with all the details of the past seven months but let's just say we have tired EVERYTHING.  We have had days and even a couple of weeks here and there that have been accident free but we always slip back into this.  There never seems to be any long term progress.  I have tried just about everything to bribe, persuade, discipline, ignore, tears, yelling....  


To top it all off, child #2 who had been "successfully potty trained for over 8+ months" suddenly started having accidents - multiple accidents through out the day... days.   My patience has worn thin and I am out of ideas.  I am struggling to just hold it together in this area.


Then this week, two different friends saw their daughters end up in the hospital - one a precious new born baby and one a grown adult.  And this morning, as I was at UAMS praying for one of them, I realized something needed to change and it was me.  I have a short time with my amazing children - these wonderful gifts from God.  Do I want to waste it yelling, guilting, scolding, them because they cannot... will not go in the potty at this juncture?  I am certain neither will head off to college wearing Depends.  


The storm of the two girls peeing themselves all the time has overwhelmed me.  I am at a loss as to what to do and I feel like a failure.  But I cannot let these circumstances change what God has called me to do.  He has called me to get these children prepared for eternity (not just life here on earth but eternity - thank you for this thought, Wendy).  I am certainly not representing a gracious God to these two children in this area and there is only one way to change that.  I will divide and conquer.  I know that Evynn is capable of doing this.  So, I am going to put Kailyn in a pull up and stop worrying about her.  I will no longer have to deal with the wet clothes and the tears on both our parts.  I can go back to just loving on her and enjoying her for a while.  I will focus on Evynn and get her back on track.  


I am a failure.  I can already imagine the looks that the other mothers will give me.  But I know in my heart of hearts that this is the right thing to do.  She will go in the potty consistently one of these days.  For whatever reason, she is not ready now and I value my relationship with her too much to sacrifice it over wet underwear.  


I am grateful for this lesson.  Grateful to our Lord who knows that pride just keeps us from seeing the good in others; pride just keeps us from helping and being helped; pride is a wall that separates us from true community with others and destroys those who are stuck behind that wall with us.  I am so sorry to my children who have suffered due to my pride.  I am grateful for this lesson now and the time I have to change and be changed by a Savior who loves me!