Proverbs 26

VS 7 - Like the legs of the lame that hang limp is the Proverbs in the mouth of fools....
VS 9 - Like a thorn that goes into the hand of drunkard is a proverb in the mouth of a fool...
These really struck me... as I try to raise my children to know the Lord, His word and His love, am I just a fool? Am I worthless because I am not living my life by these same proverbs? Am I just vaccinating my children against God's love because I am getting it all wrong?

Then VS 11 - As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly... Okay, I am this fool! I make the same mistake OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. When am I going to stop? When am I going to show self control? And putting that right up to a dog going back to his vomit? Ohhhhh, that is so gross! And I have seen dogs so this! It is disgusting! As I have watched I have commented on how stupid that dog was! Hello pot, you are black! God's word has pointed out that I AM THAT DOG!!!! A FOOL! Each time I do the same stupid thing!

And VS 23 - Fervent Lips with a wicked heart are like earthenware covered with silver dross... I feel like this right now. I can say all the right things, I can make things look really pretty on the outside but on the inside I am just struggling with the hypocrisy of my sins.

I am feeling a bit lost right now. I know that God is there right with me but I just can't seem to get it right. I start each morning with the intention to do things right, in a way that will honor God but sometimes i do not even make it out of bed before I fall back into the way i do not want to go.
I was on my face praying this morning (via Beth Moore) when the phrase "CHOOSE JOY" came to me. We have been focusing a lot on the Proverb 17:22 "A joyful heart is good medicine" lately and I have really been struggling with this. But then God just told this morning- Just choose it! When things are not going as you plan, when the children are acting out, you have two choices - get angry or get joyful... CHOOSE JOY. I need to stop, a hundred, no a thousand times a day and choose joy.
I m beginning to believe that most of MY issues come down to self-control. What am I choosing to do. Which leads me back to the proverb that I looked at today - I am a fool trying to teach my children about self-control when I myself cannot display it!
Praise God that He reveals Himself to us and then gives us what we need to move in His direction... and that God for His grace when we get stuck along the way!!!