The ENTIRE talk... way too long for a blog!

here is the entire talk... it is a lot long for a blog but I was supposed to speak for about 15 minutes....  It is also written to be spoken, so PLEASE (if you do struggle through reading it) do not attack my grammar...  These are a mix between notes and a script....

Thank you.  It really is a honor to get to come and talk here today.

 I remember just six years ago, I was starting Moms and More.  My first child was just a month and half old and just getting here was a project. 

My world had changed in a way beyond anything I could have imagined.

 I went from pretty much doing what I wanted most of the day – even while I was working, I got breaks and lunch and when the work day was over, my time was my own to being on beck and call 24 hours a day. 

Suddenly, I was at home all the time with a little creature whom I loved more than anything but really was not all that interested in anything I had to offer except …well, my breast when it was time to eat.  There was no more fun interactions with coworkers.  Lunch time shopping trips were a thing of the past and getting together with friends in the evenings suddenly involved finding babysitters and a special budget just to pay for her!  Frankly, I was a little bored! 

Now, six years later, I am expecting my fifth child and I have to laugh at the thought of being bored!

So much has changed over the past six years that I could not share all of it with you if they let me talk to all morning.  Each child has revealed new insights about God and new weaknesses in myself.    But it was not until the birth of my fourth child – I have a VERY slow learning curve - that I really even began to get a handle on what it was exactly that God is calling me to… what He is calling all of us blessed to be mothers to be…  Keepers of the Home.

When I first started hearing this phrase, I really did not have any clue what it meant.  I mean it sounds wonderful… Keeper of the Home…  but what does it mean?  And how do I even DO that? 

Let’s be honest, I barely manage to get my children’s hair brushed in the mornings, let alone “Keep my home” in some Godly way. 

But I looked at other mothers, whom I respected, I watched their lives, I spoke with them, I read the Bible searching for what God calls mothers to be.  I talked with my husband about his vision for our home.  I prayed, a lot.  I am still praying.

Our homes should be a

safe haven,

a place of refuge for our family. 

I often say, I want Jesus to drip from our home. 

I want our children to see Jesus in everything we do as a family. 

And what I realized is that in order for that to happen in our home, I need to have a plan.  I need to have a level of organization that makes it easier to function in the midst of chaos – and believe me having four children in four and a half years leads a certain amount of chaos!

So today, I wanted to share with you some practical tips for you to start thinking about becoming a  keeper of your  own home. 

First and foremost, you HAVE to spend time with Jesus every day (preferably first thing in the morning).

Do not believe satan's lie that it has to be an hour, just a short devotional to get your mind on the right things is enough at this phase of life.  This has been a big struggle for me.  Let’s be honest, it is HARD to get up earlier than your little ones to read the Bible and pray!  But answer me a question….  How many of you have a smart phone?  You know, the ones you read your email on or check your facebook account with?  You go to bed with it on your night table and check your email first thing when you get up?  Perfect! 

Subscribe to Fellowship Journal.  Every morning you will get an email that contains a passage from the Bible and one of the pastor’s comments on that passage.  It is the perfect early morning devotional! 

Even if you are not interested in FJ, the most important thing you can do with your day is spend the first few minutes giving it to Christ!  Find a devotional, leave it by your bed and read it before you get out of bed. 

Our bookstore has a lot of good ones (I just checked yesterday) including my very favorite for first time moms Baby Boot Camp.  It truly was a gift from God right after my son was born.  I have started giving it to first time moms when I visit them in the hospital.

 Another idea is to just put your Bible on the counter, open to a particular verse and every time you walk past it, stop to read it.  I did that for a long time and it worked very well, until my three year old reached up, pulled it down and ripped out a few of the front pages…  Make sure you keep it out of reach of destructive toddlers!

I cannot stress this enough.  Get into the word, get on your knees and ask God to be your strength throughout the day.  Your day may still be complete chaos but He is faithful and He will give you the strength and patience to get through it in a way that glorifies Him!

The next most important thing you can do is

Put your husband first – BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN!  I know, this is really hard for some of you but it is how God designed it.  He brought man and woman together and THEN the children came!

            

Find out what is important to him in the area of home keeping (tidy house, dessert after dinner, shirts ironed, etc.) and really focus on meeting those one or two desires daily.

Different things matter to different men, some men want the house neat when they get home, others would rather have dessert every night.  TALK TO HIM, find out what matters to him.  And if he is not a talker, become a student of your husband, learn what makes him happy and DO THOSE THINGS. 

Be excited to see him every time he comes in regardless of the chaos ensuing seconds before he walked in. This takes MUCH prayer!!!

             Do not just get dressed up on Bible study/church days or for GNOs. Make yourself look nice for him. 

            Make coming home a thing of joy for your husband so that he clearly sees that he comes first in your life and that you care for him more than your children.

Your husband is your partner, God designed you to do this entire thing WITH him.  It is so easy, in the midst of this crazy season to just take this gift from God for granted – and trust me, satan wants to use this season to destroy what God has brought together and if we are not careful he will do it. Discover a few important things to your husband and work very hard to do those well.  You will not be disappointed. 

Develop a system for keeping the house decent/clean.

I am not blessed to have a cleaning lady.  If you are, do not tell me or you will cause me to sin as I will have serious envy of you!. 

If you are like me and struggling with how to keep your house clean now that there are little ones demanding time and making messes, you need to develop a system for getting things done around the house.

One of the BIGGEST mistakes I made as a first time mom was only cleaning during naptime.  I know, some of you are saying “Huh?  When are we supposed to get things done?” 

Do things while your little ones are awake when you can.

 This will teach you how to get things done with them around

Your little ones will learn to be more independent and play on their own here and there

Beyond this, as they get older and stop napping, you and your child will have learned to do things around the house – and you will not be like me, struggling to get things done now that you have a couple of non-nappers in the house!

Develop a cleaning schedule. 

I have a friend who just rotated things weekly.  One week was dusting & cleaning the floors.  One week was cleaning the bathroom & kitchen. 

I have been using a monthly schedule.  I wrote down everything that needs to be done on a weekly, biweekly & monthly basis on a spread sheet.  I print it out each month & keep it on the fridge.  I check off things as I get them done through the week.  Over the course of the month I can see easily what things have gotten done and what has gotten ignored.    And there is nothing more satisfying than seeing a whole bunch of check marks.

And finally, in the area of cleaning – lower your standards.  Your house may not be as clean as it used to be.  I am a very neat and tidy person and motherhood has been an attack on my senses in this area!  I still struggle with this a lot.  But again, I talked to my husband, we decided what the most important areas are and we focus our energies on these things. 

However you do it, to be a keeper of your home – you need to have a plan as to how you are going to keep it livable and a refuge for your family.

Develop a menu each week.

This will keep you from making extra trips to the store with children it tow

(I came back from vacation one time and just could not get back into the swing and made 5 trips to the store in 5 days to get that one thing I needed for dinner, this was with three children and pregnant with the fourth.  My BF performed and intervention and forced me to make a menu and grocery list the next week)

It also honors your husband because it helps you to stay within a budget and shows him you recognize the hard work he puts into earning money for the family!

I have done cooking for 30 days with a couple of friends.  I hate it the week we cook and love it for the weeks afterwards when all I have to do is pull something out of the freezer to make dinner. 

I know people who are part of cooking co-ops that share nightly cooking duties. 

I have also had specific nights for food – Tuesday Tacos, Pizza Family Fridays, it makes it easier for you have a couple of days that are always the same.

However you do it, plan out your meals and go to the store with a list.  Your house will run much more smoothly and it will take A LOT of stress off of you which will in turn make your home a refuge for your family!

Finally -

Start teaching your children the word and truths of God from the very beginning.

Teach your children what you believe and why and then Live the things you teach…  you would be shocked at how early little ones can learn scriptures.  My husband leads our family in Bible time 5 -6 times a week and even our 18 month old sits in for it.  She may not be able to say the verses yet, but I can assure you just as she knows the candy corn is on top of the fridge, she is learning what mommy and daddy believe and why! 

So much of this seems so simple and unimportant.

Spend time in the word every day

Put your husband first in your family

Develop a system to keep your house clean and comfortable

Make menu plans

And – teach your children what you believe and why

  It seems lost in the scheme of the “real world” but the reality is what we do each day with our little ones is of vital importance to our world and God’s Kingdom.  When we keep our home as God as called us to… a refuge, a safe haven, a place where Jesus invades every corner, we a training our children to be kingdom builders for Christ.