We are home. Bowden is doing well. I am grateful beyond words. I still feel like crying about every five minutes... those hormones I guess.
I was talking with Keith this morning about the unfortunate reality of having to farm your little ones out to friends for an unexpected hospital stay so close to having a baby - you get a clear picture of what farming your children out to friends when the baby is born is going to be like... one child REALLY struggled while we were gone, the other two did great. Upon returning home after two nights at friends, a different child has cried constantly for about an hour and the others have been great.
I am finding it so easy to get caught up in the worry of the future. God is pretty clear on what He thinks about worry:
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34
There are a lot of verses that sound like this. But where is the balance between preparing for what we know is to come (I KNOW I am going to give birth some time in the next 8 weeks. I KNOW that some sweet friends are going to have to watch my children for a couple of days while this happens.) and just getting ourselves worked into an emotional wreck, filled with worry about how it will all work out.
Some might say it is okay to let my hormones run wild, after all I am pregnant. But I do not agree with that. I think that, at times, my hormones will get a little out of control but I do not believe that God calls us to be controlled by those emotions. God is clear that He does not want us to worry and if those hormones are causing me to freak out with worry then I really do need to seek God to help me get back under control. And in case we are thinking THAT is impossible, I look to another Scripture: Philippians 4:13 "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"
This does not say I can do "some things". Paul says "ALL THINGS". Including, but not limited to controlling raging pregnancy hormones. Hummmm, easier said than done. Not because Christ has trouble relieving me of these pressures but because I fail to ask Him or fail to trust that He REALLY can help me.
So here I am, still wanting to cry. Facing a tough choice - do I spend the next 8 weeks worried about what is to come? Or do I spend the next 8 weeks living in the moment, enjoying the time I have with each of my children & my husband before this newest most wonderful blessing arrives? Do I choose to trust the God who created all things and loves me beyond comprehension or do I turn my back on all that I know to be true to believe in a world that tells me languishing in worry is how life is supposed to be?
Deuteronomy 7:9
"Know therefore that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments"
"Know therefore that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments"
You are so wise to renew your mind with Scripture, Natasha. Not only is it true that God CAN help you. . . but He cares about you enough to DO it. "Trust in Him at all times, you people. Pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8
ReplyDeleteI have been there. Boy have I been there. It is VERY normal to want, not just care for your kids, but WONDERFUL, COMFORTING care for them. That is why I typically choose to find some way to keep them together. I think they function better as a unit. It is safe and comfortable. I would pray...and ASK for someone who can come to YOUR home to care for all the kids. Your home is safe and comfortable for your kids. PRAY. God has someone. And of course, I would always say to myself...THIS IS ONLY TWO DAYS! Sheesh. They are only kids. THey will barely remember it let alone be scarred from it! :) Having said that though, it sure was a tough time for me. I did break down and ask a friend to come stay. A friend who had no littles at home and could be free at a moment's notice. Start thinking of those people! The body of CHrist has it covered!
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