Agendas

I became a mother 7 years ago this month.  It seems like an eternity ago, it seems like yesterday.  Time is weird like that.
My struggle over the last seven years has been the same - the battle over who's agenda I will follow.  It started before my baby boy was born when I read Babywise (which I STILL strongly recommend).  The book fed my need for control. 

"If I do everything RIGHT the baby will do what I want it to..."

Sweet thought but it does not take into account that freewill God granted each of us back on the sixth day.

I will say, as I have started parenting my fifth child, I am much less crazed about her schedule and whether or not she eats every three hours, sleeps through the night or gets to nap at 1pm.  I have become more relaxed with each child in the area of baby things.

However, my poor, sweet son seems to deal with the brunt of my learning curve.  My hard headed desire to follow my own agenda as opposed to God's.

He is the first, which means he is the trailblazer.  The one that mommy learns on.  And mommy is a slow learner.

Each day, I have to remind myself that my agenda needs to be based in what God has called me to.  Not what I want to do.  Now, God has called me to be a keeper of my home.  That means there are some things that HAVE to get done. 

We have to eat. 

We do have to keep things relatively neat (contrary to some advice that I have gotten about just letting everything go around the house so I can play with my children all day, I do believe that in order to function smoothly a house with seven people in it has to be kept some what neat and clean). 

We have to do school (God has called us to homeschool and I cannot just ignore what that means).

However, every day I struggle with seeking God first or just doing what I want.  I struggle with what the world is calling me to and what God is calling me to.  Because all those things listed above need to come amidst following God's agenda -

And God's agenda is to teach my children about God's love for us & how to love God.  Regardless of what ANYONE says, every parent teaches their children about God (even atheists) but that is a WHOLE other blog!  My job is to seek God first every day, allow the Holy Spirit to shine through me and reflect God to my children.


So while I am "keeping my home" I need to be teaching my children of God's love.

While I am feeding my family I need to be teaching my children of God's love.

And what is the point if homeschooling if first and foremost I am not teaching them of God's love?

But some how, every day, I look away.  I let their frustrating behavior get under my skin and the reflection I give of God is twisted and distorted. 

I need to see EVERY opportunity as a chance to reflect God's love and teach of God's love.  I need to stop focusing on my agenda of "getting out the door"...

"cleaning up the playroom"...

"getting them into bed"...

...as the end goal.  The end goal should be that each encounter with my children heightens their desire to get to know God on their own.  Each encounter should draw my children to a place of desiring God because they see the attributes of God as desirable. 

So while cleaning the playroom,  making dinner or getting them to bed with clean teeth are an important parts of keeping my home (something God has called me to) it all means nothing if I cannot accomplish these things in a way that follows God's agenda. 

Seven years of motherhood and I am STILL struggling with this!  Man, I have a slow learning curve!