My Grandma Kay

First, let me say thank you to whoever is reading this.  My heart is sad today that I am unable to be at the celebration of my grandmother’s life but I am grateful to still be able to share some thoughts on her. 

What is there to be said about my grandmother?  She lived right around the corner for as long as I could remember and sometimes was more like a mother than a grandmother.  We spent hours swimming in her pool, we used to get in trouble for splashing the windows.  And if you have seen her pool, you know the windows are just about two feet from the pool.  Not splashing them was a pretty tall order for a bunch of crazy young girls.  My grandmother’s house was the hub of activity for us as we were growing up.  Birthday parties and holidays were always big events at Grandma’s.  I can still see us sitting around her living room, with the organ in the corner, singing an atrociously slow version of happy birthday to whoever’s special day it was.  Christmas time – when we were young- was always exciting.  We would have Christmas Eve at her house and Christmas day at ours.  It was on those days that us children could clearly see the difference between our mother and our grandmother.  Grandma would make a great meal topped off with this amazing pie but EVERY dish in the kitchen was out and dirty by the time the meal was done, waiting for us kids to clean up!  As she got older and we decided to only have one big meal, I remember always saying “How about if we have dinner at our house and Grandma can bring her fabulous pies?” Knowing that my mom never, shall we say, cooked as enthusiastically as Grandma did!

As I think about my life with Grandma Kay, I remember the matching outfits she used to make for all of us – out of terry clothe.  Very nice.  I remember all the trips she and Grandpa Ed used to take and us getting to look through all the pictures and feel like we had been on the adventure too.   We spent many years having Sunday night steak dinner at her house.  There would be Star Trek watching and for the younger crowd (including my mother and grandmother) Pac Man tournaments.  My grandmother never seemed very grandmotherly to me.  She had a pool table in her garage and could often be found out there in the evening playing pool in her night gown.  Her favorite summer activity was skinny dipping after dark.   She could always find an occasion to open a bottle of champagne, even if it was just because it was a Tuesday.  She enjoyed her senior years to the fullest.  I believe there was even a broken bone or two as a result of some enthusiastic dancing at the club.

As we all got older, there was evenings spent sitting at her kitchen counter, enjoying a drink and the peanuts that were always on hand while we talked about what ever was going on at the time.  When I think of the images of my grandmother’s home, which make up so much of who she was to me, the things I remember are the moon landing pictures over the bar, owls and frogs everywhere. Music boxes, she loved a good music box.  And plants.  Everywhere.  She was a wonderful gardener, a legacy she handed down to her daughter.  

And if you think about legacies, the one that is clearest to me will always be my grandmother and her two sisters.   Katie, Alys and Dorothy will forever be linked in my mind.  I do not pretend that their relationship was perfect.  They were all three different as the day is long.  But there was a love there that was deep.  They were not just sisters they were friends.  As a mother of six children, I look at that and desire the same thing so deeply for my own children.  I am grateful that I was able to grow up watching those strong willed women enjoy each other, struggle with each other and ultimately love each other.  I pray daily that my own children will be committed to one another throughout their lives as they were. 

If I had to pick one word to describe grandma Kay, I guess I would choose feisty.  One of my favorite stories I like to share is when she was in a parking lot at Christmas time and some woman was standing in a spot – apparently trying to hold it while the person driving the car came back around- my grandmother, feeling that this went completely against parking lot etiquette, just pulled into the space, almost running the woman over (in grandma’s defense, she did go slow so the woman had a chance to move).  That is how I will always remember my grandmother, the feisty woman who would not let people get in the way of what she wanted, of what she thought was right.   I miss you very much grandma and I am grateful for all you taught me and did for me and mostly for the way you just loved me!