Some thoughts at 4am

Yes, it IS 4am and I am awake. My little one has been sick and waking me once or twice a night for about week now. This would have killed me with any of the other three but God is growing and stretching me. I realize the season is short and soon she will not need me at these ridiculous hours. I am not happy about the lost sleep but it does not fret me the way it would have not long ago. The only thing that does frustrate me is periodically I struggle getting back to sleep... like tonight. Church will be a little groggy eyed tomorrow, I am sure.

Home Schooling
We have been going on about three weeks now and I have to say a few things stick out to me. First is my ever present amazement at what Bowden is capable of doing. I love watching him learn something new. The joy is his eyes is really asweome! Then there is the ever present feeling like I am not teaching him enough, doing it right, trying to teach him too much, doing it wrong.... I could go on and on here. I have to face and deal with MY frustration level every day.

The girls have also been amazing. They play with each other for the majority of the time while we do school. I considered doing school during naptime but decided that mornings were better because we are all fresher. I am usually in a better mood and that gives us afternoons to finish up if something goes wrong. The television was an option but I decided that I did not want to rely on that as a crutch. So I decided that they are just going to have to learn to either listen or entertain themselves. It goes pretty well every day. Sometimes they get a little needy or loud (they love to stand on the fireplace and sing). After Bowden is done with school, I sit with them and do "school". Knowing this is coming seems to keep them entertained. I suspect it will get a little harder when little Ryen quits her morning nap but why borrow trouble worrying about that now?

I am so grateful that we decided to home school. I am really enjoying the time and I cannot imagine sending Bowden off every day. It is amazing to see the developmental differences in him that just a year makes. I believe that many of us put WAY too much pressure on our first borns. We think they should be able to this or that and if we would just be patient those skills will come. Case in point - last year I bought a book to help teach the skill of cutting. It was age appropriate according to the cover. He and I banged our heads against each other for a while before I gave up and decided he would just be one of those people who lacked the ability to cut things out! Periodically I would give him some scissors and paper and he would just cut whichever way he liked. So with our first day of school there was a cutting assignment. I was NOT excited about this. But my boy surprised me when he picked up his scissors and cut along the lines, it was not perfect but pretty darn good. I think he was just not ready to do that skill and by forcing him, we were both just frustrated and irritated. There is a cutting assignment every day now and that is the part of the day that I can go and do a load of laundry of some other chore. It will be amazing if this child makes it through to adulthood not completely scarred from all the mistakes I make on him..... his sisters should be VERY grateful!!!!