The concept of modesty has been on my heart a lot lately. I have always wanted to be a stylish girl and I think that there have been times when I have succeeded in this. There were times (before I was a believer and before I decided to keep ten extra pounds as a reminder of each precious baby) that I was pretty far off the road of modesty. I had a "nice" body and I wanted everyone to notice.

There have even been times since giving my life to Christ that I would "show off my goodies" and tell myself that I was actually doing a good thing because nonbelievers would see that you did not have to dress like Laura Ingalls in order to love the Lord. I thought it might draw in nonbelievers. Please know that I am laughing at myself as I type this.

But I have traveled a little further along the journey now and I see that there is something to be said about modesty.

My husband is doing a Bible/book study with a group of men one morning a week and recently the topic was lust. Men are visual creatures and the discussion circled around how they can protect themselves from this sin. The man leading the group shared his philosophy. It really opened my eyes to some things so I will paraphrase it here:
"I tell myself that I am fasting every day. I do not allow myself to look at other women. I do not let my eyes linger, even for a moment. I am fasting for my wife. Then when I get home and we are alone, my fast is over and I can feast on the bounty the Lord has provided for me. My wife was a little taken aback the first time I feasted visually on her as she got undressed but once I explained to her where my thought process was, she embraced it and now enjoys it."

So find me a woman who would not LOVE to know her husband fasts all day. I am blessed to have a husband just like this. He is excited to see me and what the Lord has provided in me every day. But then I started thinking.... am I letting other men "feast" on me throughout the day? Am I dressing in a way that provides men with the chance to think lustful thoughts? And if my husband is fasting all day - decided to not look at other women- should I be dressing in a way that is lust inducing?

The answers to these questions were pretty clear. If Keith can abstain from looking at women, surely I can find a way to dress that does not draw men to look at me and think of sex. But what is that way?

Do I need to dress like Laura Ingalls? That certainly does not call out to me. I do NOT in any way think there is anything wrong with that. However, I can honestly say that as a nonbeliever, it would have been hard for me to see my life as a Christian if it meant dressing in a long skirt and a pinafore. I have friends who dress this way and it works for them. I think it is great but am not really thinking this is the road for me.

Does it mean that I need to wear skirts and dresses all the time?

Some of the questions I had a while back are not so troublesome for me these days as certain styles do not look good on me (see previous comment about the ten extra pounds from each baby!!!) but they are all things that are on my heart, especially as I raise a son and three daughters.

One thing I do know though, is that it is not just a man's job to avoid lustful thoughts, it is our job as women to dress in a way that helps them out. Think about it like a present...

You get a gift that is so poorly wrapped that you can see clearly what is underneath the wrapping paper - you are happy to get the gift but there is really no excitement or anticipation as to what is inside. You already know what you are getting.

You get a gift that is completely wrapped up - not only are you excited to get the gift, but you get to have those few minutes of anticipation, what is inside? And then opening it is so much fun!

I have not answered all my questions here as of yet. I do not know what this "modest style" God is calling me to will look like but I do know that I have a responsibility to God and my husband to dress in a way that honor them both!